For The Love Of A Slave
by PurpleHiraikotsuRider
Summary: Rin gets bought by the prince of the western lands as a slave. He is a cruel master, but could he love her? Would he?
1. Ownership

I do not own Inuyasha. I write these for my own amusement and for the joy that reviews bring. :D if you don't know what any Japanese words mean, it should be listed at the bottom.

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The ten girls lined up quickly, their bare feet making muffled _thuds_ on the wooden boards. The youngest was not yet 14, and the oldest had just turned 19. They had all been ill-treated, and had cuts and bruises on their faces and what could be seen of their arms and legs – which was a lot. Their dirty, colorless clothes just covered their bodies, ending just past their shoulders and before half-way down their thighs. Each of them had either black or dark brown hair, and it was long and hanging free down their backs, often longer than their clothes. Their leader, a thick, burly man of 40 with a bad eye, cracked a whip in the air and they all bowed their heads, clasping their hands in front of them.

A buyer appeared on the stage, but all they could see of him was his black boots and red hakama. He stopped short of the first girl.

"You haven't got any that smell a bit better?" he demanded of the leader.

He bowed on the floor. "I assure you, _ouji-sama_, that they will be properly washed immediately before being sent to you, should you grace this lowly slave-dealer with an offer."

"Keh," the buyer said dismissively, approaching the silent line. Some of the younger girls were trembling. He stopped in front of one girl and grabbed her by her hair, forcing her head up to look at him. She saw his amber eyes, silver hair, and dog ears. She saw his unfriendly frown.

"What's your name, wench?"

"Sango, _ouji-sama_," she replied, repeating the address that her leader had used.

"How old are you?"

"19,_ ouji-sama_." She did not tremble in fear at his gaze, and he sensed her fearlessness.

"I'll take her," the _ouji_ said, releasing her hair and walking down the line. He stopped at another girl and posed the same question.

"Kikyo, _ouji-sama_."

"And your age?"

"18, _ouji-sama_."

He accepted her also before looking at another girl. His next choice was the 15 year old Kagome, and then the 13 year old Kaede. He was about to leave when he stopped at the girl at the end of the line and grabbed her hair. Her head tilted up to him, but she would not meet his eyes.

"You, girl. What's your name?"

"_Ouji-sama_, forgive me, but she is mute," the leader interrupted.

"Mute…" the _ouji_ repeated.

"Hai. Her name is Rin."

"And what is her age?"

"She managed to communicate that she is 14, _ouji-sama_. She was found wandering through the forests."

"Hm. I'll take her, too. My brother likes the ones that don't talk."

"Ano… _ouji-sama_, I am unaware of whether or not she still has her purity – "

"My brother doesn't expect them to. Have them sent to the castle in two days. But bear in mind that I'm not buying yet. Only seeing what my father and brother think. I'll send them back if we reject them."

"Of course, _ouji-sama_. I am honored that you find the girls of this lowly slave-dealer worth considering."

The five chosen girls were washed until their skin was bright pink, and given sickly-sweet smelling perfumes to add to their scent. Their scanty clothes were replaced with thin, tight-fitting kimono with an obi that tied in front, and in two days they were bundled into a palanquin and taken to the castle.

"Nee-sama, I'm scared," Kaede sobbed, clinging to Kikyo.

"Shh, it's going to be all right, Kaede," Kikyo soothed. "Chances are, the lord of the west will send us back to Iwao and he won't use us."

"What if he doesn't?" Kagome asked, looking worried. "We'll have to stay at the palace and live as concubines."

"Well, that's all there is for us to do," Sango said, looking straight ahead. "It's the only way we can survive. We who have no families and no qualifications."

"But, Sango-nee-san, you could work as a _youkai taijiya_."

"Not in the west. The lord of these lands has forbidden taijiya," she said in a flat tone.

They quickly arrived at the castle, and got out of the palanquin. They stood in order of height, leaving Rin at the end and Sango at the beginning and walked inside, heads bowed, as they were led by a servant. They stood in silence in a large hallway until a door burst open and two men came through it.

"This is all?" asked the low, cold voice of one of the men.

"I picked the best there was, _nii-sama_," the familiar voice of the _ouji_ replied sarcastically.

"I told you that slave-dealer Iwao was pathetic. Smell them; how repulsive!"

"You're just saying that because they're human."

"And two are above marrying age. That in itself is a disgrace."

"So what! Anyway, one of them is mute. That one at the end. You've always been complaining about how they talk too much, so I found one that doesn't talk at all. You're never happy, are you?"

"Very well. I will keep the mute. At least she's still young. You may do what you like with the rest, as Chichi-ue wants nothing to do with them."

"Keh."

The _ouji_'s brother left the room, leaving him and the girls.

"Rin, wasn't it?"

Rin nodded without looking up.

"Come over here." She obeyed. "You, you're Kikyo, aren't you?"

"Iie, _ouji-sama_. I am Kagome."

"Well, you and Kikyo get over here as well. The other two can go back. Make sure you include payment for the other three," he ordered the servants.

"Hai, ouji-sama," they bowed and hurried to obey.

Turning to the remaining three, he said, "So there are few rules you need to obey, but the ones there are you have to adhere at all costs, understood?"

The girls all bowed and two said, "Hai, ouji-sama!" simultaneously.

"First rule; don't call me that. My name is Inuyasha and you are to use it. My father is the Inu no Taisho, and you must be respectful to him as well as my brother. His name is Sesshoumaru, and whatever you do, don't forget that. He's a heartless son of a bitch and will punish you harshly for having a hair out of place. You will probably not see much of him, except for Rin, and I doubt any of you will ever see my father unless he sends for you, which isn't likely. I'm assuming you've all been trained on how to act in the presence of royalty, and let me tell you now: I couldn't care less what you do in my chambers as long as I haven't forbidden it, but outside of it you are to adhere to even the servants. Your sleeping room will be beside mine and you are to stay in them at all times unless someone has ordered you to do something or when it is time to eat. And finally, you never disobey _anyone_. Got that?"

Again they bowed and said, "Hai, Inuyasha-sama."

"Good. Rin, I don't know where you're sleeping room will be. Sesshoumaru might want you beside him, he might not. Stick with me for the time being and I'll find out later. Now all of you, follow me," Inuyasha turned and began walking down the corridor swiftly.

Kagome and Kikyo were silently cursing their bad luck at being chosen, but were glad that they had apparently been picked by the kinder man. And they felt bad for Rin, who was to be slave to the "heartless son of a bitch".

"First of all, you won't be wearing those rags," Inuyasha eyed their cheap clothing when he got to his chambers. Going to one of the rooms behind his, he swiftly opened the door and entered, speaking to the girl inside. "Rei, I need you to lend two of your outfits to my newest slaves."

"Of course, Inuyasha-sama," the girl bowed and went to her wardrobe, pulling out the first two _kimono_ she touched and handed them to her master, who brought them to the girls.

"Change now."

Kikyo and Kagome lowered their gaze in embarrassment before tugging their obi loose and letting their robes fall to the floor and pulling on the expensive ones. Again, the obi tied at the front.

"Rin, if Sesshoumaru wants you to wear something else, then he'll be the one to give it to you. Thanks, Rei. You can come for dinner when you're ready," he flashed a smile at the girl inside before leading the three of them outside. Again, they followed him through the corridors until they met a ningen woman who appeared to be 40 years old. She was dressed like them, with the offensive obi.

"Inuyasha, you have new slaves?" she smiled at them.

"Hai, Okaa-san," Inuyasha answered.

"Why is one not dressed properly?"

"Rin belongs to Sesshoumaru. I'm going to find him to make sure she gets seen to with all her arrangements."

Walking on, he explained to the girls, "That's Izayoi, my father's slave." He said nothing else, and they were not permitted to ask. Stopping outside two huge doors, he pounded on one of them with his fist and yelled, "Hey, Sesshoumaru!"

After a moment the door opened and the girls bowed their heads in respect.

"What do you want?" Sesshoumaru asked in a bored tone.

"I brought you Rin. Don't forget to show her the way to the kitchens so she can eat."

"I am not a half-wit like you; I would not forget such a thing."

Inuyasha shrugged. "Well, she's all yours." He walked down the corridor, followed by Kagome and Kikyo.

"Come in, I suppose," Sesshoumaru pushed the door open to allow Rin access to his chamber. She stepped inside, daring to look up and see it. It was twice the size of Inuyasha's, as was all the furniture, and it seemed so much lighter than his. There was a huge balcony on one wall, and there were several huge windows high above the floor. The walls were painted white and the covers on the huge futon were the same color. Looking at her new master, she was able to examine him for the first time. He wore white robes with a red pattern and yellow and blue obi. He had long silver hair, like Inuyasha, that fell down his back. It looked better kept than Inuyasha's, and was far shinier. His eyes were more golden than amber, and his ears were mostly human other than the pointed shape they took. There was a purple crescent moon on his forehead, two magenta stripes on each cheek, and a red lining to his eyelids. His pale skin seemed to reflect the sunlight.

"Did I give you permission to look up?"

Rin jumped and instantly bowed her head, clasping her hands together.

"You are not to do anything inappropriate in this palace," Sesshoumaru said. "And let me make this very clear; if I don't like you, I will rid myself of you. Whether that means to kill you or to send you away depends solely on what it is you have done that I don't like. Do you understand that?"

She nodded violently, still keeping her head down.

"Good. Your sleeping room will be behind mine. You enter it through a different corridor and you are not to come in to my chambers at any time unless I have ordered it. You will _not_ be wearing those rags; suitable attire will be placed in your sleeping room for you to change into after you have eaten dinner. Wait for me there when you have changed." He turned and opened the door, expecting her to follow.

"Rika, show this slave to the kitchens," he ordered a passing servant. "While she is eating dinner, prepare one of the sleeping rooms behind my chambers and ensure suitable attire is placed in it. When she is finished, show her the way back to her room."

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama," Rika bowed and obeyed. She had a cute smile and a mischievous glint in her eyes when she looked at Rin.

"So, you're Sesshoumaru-sama's new slave?" she asked on the way to the kitchens.

Rin nodded.

"Well, good luck with him. You know he's never kept a slave more than a month. He usually complains about how much they talk when they should be silent. You seem like a quiet one, though."

She gave a tight smile.

"You really don't talk much, do you? Perhaps Sesshoumaru-sama has found someone he'll like."

They arrived at the kitchens, and she took a seat beside Kagome and Kikyo and listened to the gossip.

"So the lord of the west only has two sons," Kagome confirmed.

"Hai," Rei, the other slave of Inuyasha, answered. "I'm glad I belong to Inuyasha-sama rather than his brother."

"What is he like?"

"Ah, Inuyasha-sama is a good master. Probably because his mother herself is a concubine to my lord."

"We saw a woman he called Okaa-san in the hallway," Kikyo supplied.

"Hai, Izayoi-sama was his father's slave. Since his birth, she has been treated like his wife by the servants. She eats with my lord and his sons, and he has never had another concubine since. Although, when there are important guests for my lord to entertain, Izayoi-sama and Inuyasha-sama come down here to eat."

"Then… he is a servant?"

"Iie, iie, Inuyasha-sama is the prince of the west. But because he is a hanyou and the child of a slave then he must not meet with the youkai that are his father's guests lest they be offended. He is kind to humans, though. He will wait to see if he likes you before he beds you, and will not if you do not wish it." Rei glanced at Rin. "I do not know much of Sesshoumaru-sama except what I have been told. He never has more than one slave at once, and they usually do not stay for longer than two weeks. He is ruthless, and cares nothing for the feelings or wellbeing of his concubines."

Seeing Rin's expression, Kagome said, "I'm sure he cannot be _that_ bad."

"Probably not," Rei agreed. "As I said, this is only what other have told; I would not know whether they exaggerated or not. He and Inuyasha-sama may be different in many ways, but they are brothers, after all, and I am sure they are not so different when it comes to women."

Rin quickly ate and was lead to her sleeping room. It was larger than she expected, with a big futon and bookshelf filled with books. To amuse herself and pass the time, she supposed. Going to her wardrobe, she pulled out a kimono, letting the rich silk brush against her skin. It was so soft; softer than any clothes she had ever felt. She pulled it on and hugged it to herself. Even if she had a bad master, at least she was well dressed.

Picking up a book, she began to read until the light faded. She was a quick reader, and when she was half-way through it the room became too dark to continue, and she set it to one side. Sitting up, she sighed and flopped back on her futon again, spreading her arms wide.

The _shoji_ snapped open and she automatically flipped over to press her forehead to the ground in a bow.

"Sit up," Sesshoumaru's cold voice sounded.

Rin pushed herself into a sitting position, her backside resting on her ankles.

Sesshoumaru came and sat cross-legged in front of her. "The room – it is suitable?"

She nodded.

"How old are you? Sixteen?"

She smiled and shook her head.

"Seventeen?"

Shaking her head again, she held up one hand and folded her thumb to her palm.

"Fourteen?" he sounded surprised.

She nodded.

"Hn." Leaning toward her, he pulled back her head by her hair and pressed his nose into her neck, inhaling. "You have a nice scent for a human, but it is clouded and spoiled by the perfumes you wear. I will have the servants see to that in the morning." Nuzzling deeper into her neck, he inhaled again and closed his eyes, lingering before pulling away. "I will not take you tonight because I cannot stand the scent of those perfumes. However, I plan to the next time the sun sets. That is all." Rising, he went back into his own room and shut the door connecting them tightly.

Trembling, Rin touched her neck where his nose had been and shivered before lying down on her futon and falling asleep.

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ouji-sama – prince

nee-sama – older sister

youkai taijiya – demon exterminator

nii-sama – older brother

Chichi-ue – Father

iie – no

ningen – human

Okaa-san – mother

shoji – sliding door

So what'd you think? Good so far? Review and let me know! Or review anyway!

I hope I'll be able to portray Sesshoumaru as someone who is cold and cruel; I haven't really done a good job of that in this chapter because I'm a bit too compassionate. In the next part I'll try harder to make him cruel so he can be more in character. Then he'll eventually become nicer because of Rin (obviously). The rating will probably go up to M a little later, but I will NOT be making this a lemon for any reason


	2. Discipline

A big thank you to everyone who reviewed! Keep 'em coming! And enjoy the next chapter!

**Warning! **There is some violence at the end, so I apologize if you're squeamish and don't like reading about blood. Sorry!

Yes, I put the rating up. Because, frankly, I have a twelve-year-old cousin and I wouldn't like him reading this kind of stuff.

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Rin was washed the next day with Kagome and Kikyo to remove the mixed scents of the cheap perfumes from their bodies. Kikyo was full of gossip of how Inuyasha-sama had come to talk to her last night and immediately left when she showed the first signs of fatigue. She said he was a perfect gentleman, and Kagome was angrily trying to make it seem as though she didn't care one way or the other. Rin gave a tiny smile as she saw there would be a lot of competition between the two of them.

"Ne, Rin-chan," Kagome said, cutting off her new rival. "Did Sesshoumaru-sama talk to _you_ last night?"

Well, he had _spoken_ to her, even if they didn't really _talk_. Not that it would do much good if he had, with her condition. She nodded.

The girls squealed in the hot water and grouped closer to her. "Is he nice?" they demanded.

She nodded again after a slight hesitation.

"Did he… ah… take you?"

She shook her head, a smile on her lips. They quickly got bored of pelting questions at her, as the questions could only be answered yes or no, and returned to their talk of Inuyasha-sama.

After the bath they had "free" time to spend in their rooms until the midday and evening meals. After that they were given another bath to erase any traces of the perfumes. Soon the _shoji_ slid open and a woman entered the wash room with a cloth wrapped around her.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Izayoi asked in a soft voice, smiling at them. Kikyo and Kagome attempted to bow in the water, but she only laughed and said, "In such circumstances you need not be so formal."

"Please, join us," Kikyo beckoned.

They began talking about her son and how kind he was. Izayoi seemed glad that he was not acting anything less than how a prince should when in his chambers, and was kind to the girls. She talked to all of them, even asking Rin the most friendly questions even though she knew she could not always answer. She suggested she learn some kind of sign language, to communicate better, but Rin shook her head. She knew how to talk. She just chose not to because it was easier.

Rin was washed extra hard, as Sesshoumaru's nose was far better than Inuyasha's and could pick up any traces of unnatural fragrance. Later, in her room when he came to her, the first thing he said was, "You've been with that bitch."

Rin gave him a questioning look.

"My father's slave," he said, frowning. "The one who gave him that bastard Inuyasha."

She understood and gave a slight nod.

"You are not to associate with her," he ordered. "You are not to go near her, understand?"

She looked confused, and tilted her head faintly.

This slight action enraged him, and he grasped her arm with an iron grip. "Understand?" he repeated in a cold, threatening tone, his lips brushing against her ear. His presence was dominating and it was clear that he was fully capable – and willing – to punish her should the opportunity arise.

Gasping in fear, Rin gave a shaky nod and he released her. Going to his chamber, he returned a moment later carrying a long black leather whip.

"Remove your clothes," he commanded. With trembling hands she pulled her obi and let her kimono fall to the floor. "And your _nagajuban_. Hurry, girl!"

She obeyed and stood naked in front of him.

"Get on the futon on your hands and knees."

She did as he said, wondering if this was when he took her purity. Her head snapped up and she gave a loud gasp in pain and shock as the whip in his hands came into contact with her back. He repeated the action before returning the strap to his chamber, reappearing wearing his sleeping robes.

"Two hesitations, two strokes," he said. "Remember that next time I ask something of you."

She lay on her front on the futon, her tears leaking out her eyes. He rolled her over, and not in a gentle way.

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Sesshoumaru stood perfectly still as his maids fitted his clothes on him, reflecting on the previous night. He had enjoyed having a woman who did not talk; it made a nice change. He remembered one girl, Kagura, had not shut her face the entire night. He had whipped her for it, but it didn't make a difference. The only thing he regretted about Rin was when he took her he noticed tears of pain streaming from her eyes and realized she had previously been a virgin. That thought made him uncomfortable, as he had not even thought to question her innocence. Had he known, he wouldn't have been so rough and perhaps the pain would not be so great. Not that he cared for her welfare, but he found that the happier his concubines were, the better they pleased him. Even so, he felt slightly guilty for having stolen a girl's purity in such a way.

But only slightly.

The maids finished and he swept out of his chambers to go to breakfast. His scowl did not reach his face when he saw Izayoi and Inuyasha there, as usual. It was insulting that he, the heir of the western lands, should be expected to eat with a concubine and the child of a concubine, regardless of the fact that the child's father was the lord of the west. However, now that he had his own permanent concubine – for he had decided to keep Rin – perhaps he could get a little revenge on his father…

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Rin spent the day in pain. Her lower body ached, and Rika – after finally discovering she was mute – asked her if she had previously been a virgin when she noticed how stiffly she was walking. When she nodded, the older servant guided her to the wash room and told her to soak in the hot bath water to take away the ache. It helped, a little, and Kagome and Kikyo came and talked with her while she sat in the bath. This time, Kagome was the one full of gossip about Inuyasha-sama.

"Ne, Rin-chan," Kikyo interrupted. "Turn around; I think there's something on your back."

Rin shied away and shook her head.

"Come to think of it, you're right," Kagome said. "I saw something too."

Rin retreated further into herself.

"Turn around!" the girls advanced and grabbed her wrists, forcing her to turn. They gasped when they saw the two red lines that cut across her back.

"What happened to you?"

Rin shook her head, indicating it was nothing.

"You look like…" Kikyo examined her, "you've been whipped."

Kagome gasped. "Oh my word, you have!"

Rin pulled away and turned around, attempting to smile weakly.

"_Who?_"

She looked away, staring at the floor.

"It wasn't… Sesshoumaru-sama, was it?" Kikyo asked in a whisper.

She flinched and didn't move.

"Kikyo-nee-san, Rin-chan said he was nice, remember?" Kagome said.

"Ah, hai…" she slapped her head cheerfully. "What was I thinking?"

Rika entered the wash room before they could interrogate her further. "Gomen, Rin-chan, but you must get out now. Sesshoumaru-sama has requested that he speak with you."

With a mask of cheerfulness, Rin stood in the bath and made to get out, failing to entirely hide her cringes of agony as pain shot through her abdominal region. The girls helped her dry, and soon she was back in her room. She had not been there for two minutes when Sesshoumaru-sama entered.

"Are you still in pain?" he asked in a careless voice.

She nodded once.

"It will ease in a few days." He said it not in comfort, but as though stating a fact. He paused for a moment before saying, "Tomorrow you will accompany me around the castle and wait on me. To fetch things I ask you for. You will eat with me and my father, so I hope you have decent table manners. And remember you are not to associate with his bitch."

She gave him a nod of understanding. He stood and made to exit. "You should rest now," he said before leaving. "You will wait on me tomorrow whether you are in pain or not."

That was the last she saw of him that day, for he did not touch her that night. She was relieved, because if being his slave meant she had to go through this kind of pain regularly, she wished she was back with Iwao and the other girls.

Rika woke her before dawn and told her to get dressed in the best kimono she could find in her wardrobe. When she was ready, she waited in her room for Sesshoumaru-sama to come fetch her. They went to breakfast, Rin following behind him with her head down as he swept through the vast and numerous corridors. In the dining hall she got her first glimpse of Sesshoumaru's father and marveled on how alike they looked. The only difference she could see was that Inu no Taisho's hair was a slightly darker shade of silver and his markings were different.

The men sat in a line behind the low tables. There was another table further away where Rin sat. Izayoi was sitting beside Inu no Taisho, but picked up her tray and sat beside the other human with a smile.

_Sou na… Shinjiranai._

Sesshoumaru-sama shot a piercing glare her way that made her cringe, but what could she do? Open her mouth and say, "Sesshoumaru-sama doesn't want me to be near you"?

Well, that was a possibility. But if she did that, Izayoi would be offended. Plus, Sesshoumaru-sama would be angry at her for pretending to be mute. Well, it wasn't really a pretense. She hadn't spoken in five years. But even so, she didn't want him to be angry with her. So she did nothing except look quickly away from Izayoi's gaze.

After the meal Inu no Taisho said, "Sesshoumaru, come to my office."

Sesshoumaru silently rose and paused at the door to give Rin time to catch up. The men entered the lord's office, shutting the door so she could not follow. Exhaling quietly, she turned and stood beside the door, waiting for it to reopen, able to hear the angry words coming from inside.

#~#~#

"What do you think you're doing, Sesshoumaru?" Touga demanded.

"What do you mean, Chichi-ue?" he asked calmly.

"Letting your slave eat with us! What else?"

"I may have needed something during the meal. And you, of all people, cannot object to that when _your_ slave gave you a child and eats with us every day."

"This isn't about me, Sesshoumaru!"

"Isn't it?"

Touga understood and fumed silently. This was his son's revenge for being forced to eat with a human and hanyou. "You know how I feel about Izayoi. I cannot believe that you would feel the same about a human you just bought!"

"No, I don't."

"Then how dare you bring her into the dining hall?"

"What does it matter, Chichi-ue? Surely you do not mind that I am only doing the same as you."

"It is your _reasons_ for doing this that I have a problem with!"

"Reasons are of little importance. Would the servants not be surprised to see you forbid me from doing what you have done for eighteen years?"

He saw his son's trap. Touga could not punish him for this or forbid the slave from eating with them without seeming a hypocrite and losing the servants' respect. If that happened, they wouldn't work as well, which means he would have to pay them more than a fair wage, shrinking the amount of money in the war funds so the soldiers couldn't have as good armor, so they would die more easily in battle, and the lands would fall. All because he refused to eat with his son's slave.

How cruel fate was.

"You've planned this carefully, haven't you Sesshoumaru?"

"Extremely."

"I can see I'll have to give this some careful thought. I suggest you go about your work."

"As you say, Chichi-ue."

Sesshoumaru turned and left the office. When he opened the door he saw Izayoi talking to a nervous-looking Rin. They both jumped when he appeared and bowed their heads, the non-mute slave murmuring, "Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Rin," he said in command to follow, walking swiftly through the corridors to his rooms. He opened the door adjoining his to hers and, under his piercing stare, she went in. After a moment he followed her in. Rin saw, not without a jolt of fear, that he held his leather whip.

"Remove your clothes."

Knowing what hesitation would result in, she ripped them off herself and once again stood before him naked.

"Kneel."

She scrambled to obey, kneeling down and then shifting half her weight onto her hands. Pain tore at her back and she almost screamed in agony as she felt the whip come down again and again.

_Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack._

Five strokes. They were different to the two she had previously been given. These were deep, cutting into her flesh like a knife into silk. Her arms lost all strength that was left in them and she collapsed onto her front, sobbing in pain. Her back was numb, and she could feel blood trickle down her sides. She was burning.

She looked up at her calm master. She opened her mouth to speak for the first time in five years.

_What was I supposed to do? She came to talk to _me!

"It is no concern of mine. You are mute; you must have your own way of communicating. Use it to tell her to stay away from you. Just make sure you obey me." He vanished into his room and reappeared again holding a cloth instead of the whip. Sitting beside her shaking form, he rubbed her back roughly, wiping away the blood. Rin squirmed and gasped in pain at his lack of gentleness as flaps of flesh were pulled back and ripped partially off. Sesshoumaru wrapped the cloth around her to soak up the blood before running his razor sharp claws lightly across her neck.

"And remember, I do not need to whip to punish you," he whispered softly. "These claws of mine are perfectly able to tear into your flesh and cause just as much pain as a leather strap. Probably more." His hand glowed green as one finger nicked her flesh. She inhaled sharply. "And you may get… accidentally… poisoned… this way." He grasped her hair and used it to pull her into a sitting position. "Get dressed," he commanded, his eyes wandering over her exposed body. Rin shivered and hastened to obey, shaking and in pain, under his penetrating gaze.

He was a monster. A beast.

A youkai.

Rin finished dressing and wiped her face clean of tears, having finally stopped crying. She turned to him and clasped her hands together, bowing her head in a submissive stance.

Sesshoumaru was suddenly on his feet in front of her. "Come," he said, walking out to go about his work.

And so the days went on.

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

nagajuban – undergarment

ne – hey/say etc.

sou na – no way

shinjiranai – unbelievable/ I don't believe it etc.

And there we go! Another chapter _finite_. So, in case of confusion, Rin tried to speak to Sesshoumaru, but her voice wouldn't work so she didn't actually. She just mouthed the words and he understood because he could lip-read (well, he can do anything so why not?). Got that? Good. Reviews…

I actually thought this chapter wasn't as short as it is. I'll try and make the next one longer


	3. Sickness

Whoa! The amount of reviews doubled overnight! And they're still coming! I'm amazed that everyone seems to like this story so much! Thank you! *jumps around in glee*

So anyway, to answer a few questions that you guys are asking:

**Punk66** and **sesshyrinlove92** were asking about Inuyasha and whether he ends up with Kikyo or Kagome and sends one away. Let me tell you that they probably won't have a huge role in the story, but I'll get to that part. You'll just have to wait and see. (Not that I haven't decided what's happening or anything)

**No tears left to cry** asked how they stopped the girls from getting pregnant. Simple. They just don't sleep with them at the right time. And if they _do _get pregnant, then they just take some kind of drug thing to abort. If they didn't have that kind of thing in this time (when is this time, anyway? Oh, well. Just say it's Sengoku jidai) then humor me and pretend they do. Or even better, the youkai physician can abort children just because he's a youkai. Cruel, I know, but that's just the way they do things. Anyway. It's not that important.

**Sesshyrinlove92 **asked whether or not Rin will ever speak to Sesshoumaru. Of course. I'll get to that. Patience, my friend.

**New Fan **and **AnimeFreak-TrunksPan-Lover4evr** said about how cruel Sess. was to Rin. Sorry! I promise he'll soften up after a while! It's just that in the anime he was portrayed as pretty cold and then Rin was able to make us see his softer side. That's kind of what I'm aiming for. Anyway. He does get kinder!

A big thank you to everyone else who reviewed, and enjoy the next chapter! As usual, Japanese phrases are translated at the bottom.

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

Two months. Two long, agonizing months of being dragged around the castle, whipped, and, her main purpose, used as a concubine.

Two _months!_

Rin's back was raw and there was never a moment when she was not in pain from the whip's scores. He beat her every week. No matter how pristinely she tried to obey him, he still found something wrong with her. And then he would have his way with her, as if she hadn't had enough of a punishment.

He was a demon.

Crawling into her futon one night she felt her back burning. It was one of the days she hadn't been whipped, and it was made even better by Sesshoumaru leaving her alone when the sun set. He wouldn't be pleasuring himself with her this night.

She sighed in relief and sank beneath her covers thankfully. Her head was pounding, and she was having trouble breathing.

When Rika came in to wake her the next morning she was shaking and sweating.

"Rin-chan?" the older servant asked, touching her forehead. She gasped as she felt the temperature of the mute girl. "You're burning!"

Rin opened her eyes and looked deliriously up at Rika. Her lips parted as she attempted to mouth something unintelligible. The servant went out of the room and ran around to the "official" entrance to Sesshoumaru's sleeping room.

"Come," he said in response to her knock.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," Rika hurriedly bowed. "Forgive me, but I think Rin-chan may have a fever."

"How bad do you suppose it to be?"

"Her forehead is like an open flame, Sesshoumaru-sama. There is no way she will be able to wait on you today. She is too weak to get up."

Sesshoumaru nodded in acceptance and dismissal, and Rika bowed and exited quickly. She knew only too well how much he needed to be obeyed without hesitation.

She quickly fetched the physician, who examined the feverish slave.

"Mm," Enishi-sensei mused as her touched her forehead with the back of his fingers. "Something must have caused this fever. You say she was fine yesterday?"

"She seemed slightly less responsive than usual," Rika answered. "Other than that, yes."

"I wonder… the illness is most likely caused by some infected wound. Do you know of any she might have?"

"Iie, but I would suspect her back as been cut. Sesshoumaru-sama whips his slaves for disobedience."

"I see," Enishi said gravely. Partially undressing Rin, he rolled her off her side onto her front and pulled her clothes away from her back. There was a cloth wrapped around her middle. In removing it, both servants saw the many scars that tore across her flesh. Her skin was red, and heated to touch.

"The wounds are infected," the physician stated. "Get me a clean cloth and some salt water."

"Hai," Rika hurried to obey, full of concern for the young slave of Sesshoumaru.

#~#~#

The "family" of four ate the breakfast meal in silence.

"Where is Rin today?" Touga asked.

"It seems she has a fever," Sesshoumaru said simply.

"Ah. She smelled of sickness yesterday."

His son didn't answer, and that concluded the conversation.

#~#~#

Rin silently moaned in her fitful sleep, rolling across her futon. The day passed quickly as she slipped in and out of consciousness. She was vaguely aware of Enishi-sensei beside her as he kept her back clean and cool. The salt water stung, but she ignored it.

When the light had faded she woke once more to the feel of cold lips on hers.

_Sesshoumaru…_

He bit on her bottom lip, fangs piercing her flesh, and she obediently opened her mouth, allowing his tongue access. Cold air rushed over her as he removed her kimono, freezing her sweaty skin.

_Kudasai… iie…_

It seemed nothing turned out her way, and he took her mercilessly.

#~#~#

"_Mama?"_

_Rin walked up to her mother who smiled at her._

"_Rin, watashi no kodomo," she opened her arms, inviting Rin into her embrace._

"_Watashi wa doko?"_

_Her mother smiled again. "You are safe," she said, hugging her._

_Rin closed her eyes and sank into the soft feel of her mother's clothes. Suddenly the resistance vanished and she fell forward. Opening her eyes, she saw the green hills had vanished, leaving her in a dark, bare and cold valley._

"_Mama?"_

_A cold breeze flew over her, chilling her bones._

"_Mama?" she repeated in a tiny voice._

_Growls and snarls reached her ears. She could make out yellow glows as sets of eyes appeared._

"_Ookami-tachi." Rin gasped and crept backwards as they pounced. "_Ookami-tachi_!" she screamed._

Jerking into consciousness again, Rin felt the stinging sensation of a wet cloth being rubbed gently on her back and knew Enishi-sensei was there.

_Mama… said I was safe when she was with me. Now she isn't. Do I have to find someone else who can make me safe?_

"Rin…" Enishi muttered. "What is going to happen to you?"

"_Rin," her brother's voice came._

"_Nii-chan?"_

"_You are safe," he said as he embraced her._

_Tears filled her eyes. "Nii-chan, I'm so scared. I hurt, and I feel ill."_

"_It's all right, imouto," Daiko soothed. "When you are with me you are safe."_

"_But what about when I'm not with you? When I wake up, you're gone."_

"_Then you have to find someone who can protect you. What do you fear?"_

"_I fear ookami. And… Sesshoumaru-sama, my master. He hurts me."_

"_Who can protect you from him?"_

"_No one! He owns me!"_

"_Then you must change him."_

"_Nani?"_

"_Change him. As your master, he is made your protector. He should protect you from what you fear, from himself. You must manipulate him to protect you."_

"_But I can't do that! He would whip me for thinking of manipulating him! I shouldn't!" Rin protested._

"_You have to be sneaky, Rin."_

"_Iie! I cannot!" Her tears leaked onto his chest as she clutched his clothes._

_Daiko grinned down at her head. "You're still the kind-hearted little girl you always were. Never to mistreat anyone. Nothing's going to make you change, is it?"_

#~#~#

Sesshoumaru woke with a jolt, cold sweat running down his neck.

_I didn't… just… have a… nightmare?_

Cursing himself for his childishness, he got up and walked over to his balcony, opening the doors and stepping out onto the cement, staring into the dark, silent night. Leaping out, he ran stealthily across several rooftops before stopping on one and sitting down, looking at the gardens. Being a youkai he could, of course, see in the dark. The voices of his father and Izayoi could be heard below, but he tried to pay no attention to them.

_How could I, of all people, have had a nightmare?_

It had been about his mother, before she was banished from the west. His father had built her a citadel many miles away and ordered her to leave. He had not been a child, but he never discovered the reason for her exile as neither of his parents would talk about it. He still saw his mother; he visited her in her home. But he hadn't seen her in a long time, perhaps two centuries.

Truth be told, it was great. It wasn't that he disliked his mother, but she had a way of irking him that he hated. That and the fact that she could read him like a book while most times his father hadn't a clue what was going on in his head. Frankly, it was irritating that someone knew him that well. He was too like her for his own good.

"What is that that you wanted to speak to me of?" he vaguely heard Izayoi ask.

"My son. I want to know if you have noticed a change in him recently." His father's reply caught his attention, and he began listening to the conversation.

"I – am no expert on Sesshoumaru, and cannot say that I have noticed anything differing in his actions."

Had his father stopped her referring to him with an honorific when the two of them were alone?

"What did you have in mind?" she questioned.

"I am unsure. I thought I discerned a change in him last year, and although it has become worse I still cannot recognize it."

"Do you think it may be serious?"

"Impossible to say. But he smelled of sickness today."

"His slave Rin-chan is ill, is she not?"

"Hai, but her scent on him was faint. It is _he_ who is sick."

"What ailment could harm a taiyoukai?"

"I do not know, but I suspect it to be related to the recent change in him."

Sesshoumaru frowned to himself. Him, sick? Ridiculous. He could not get sick. The very idea was ludicrous.

"I worry about how his rein will be after my death," his father said.

"He still has time to learn what you will teach him."

"True, but he has been grown for centuries and he has never bent easily. He prefers to be in complete control, and to rule the west he must realize that this is impossible. In a way, he still has much room to develop."

What was this? His father was telling his slave that he, Sesshoumaru, was _immature?_

His father was going to pay the next time they trained together. A few broken bones, maybe he'd even manage to "inadvertently" cut open his neck too close to the main artery.

He swallowed his growl painfully. _Just wait, Chichi-ue. I will show you how _developed_ I really am_.

This from the man who had just been waked from sleep from a nightmare.

"Do you mean that Inuyasha might be a better ruler?"

"In some ways, perhaps."

Sesshoumaru nearly choked. Inuyasha… more mature… than him…

_Some_one was going to die very soon.

A voice in the back of his head said, _you know, eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves_.

He debated his options. Option one; leave. His father might hear him and realize he had been listening. Then he would be in trouble. He was already fortunate his scent had been somehow missed. Option two; stay. He would hear more of his faults, Inuyasha's glory, and probably get angry enough to jump down and openly challenge his father.

Leave, then.

His father must be becoming senile to not notice him. Of course, he was very apt at moving silently, and his scent was strong in that part of the castle because he spent a lot of time there. Anyway, he managed to return to his chambers undetected and fall asleep again. When he woke, he was fitful and sweaty.

_Shin – ji – ra – nai…_

He could never remember a time when he wished to kill someone so much.

_This is ridiculous_.

In the next room he could hear the sounds of Rin tossing and turning in her feverish state and actually regretted taking her when she was feeling so bad. He knew that her condition was far worse than his; his temperature would most likely be normal again that evening, but she would take a long time to heal with her weak body.

He sighed, vowing that he would not sleep with her until she was well again. Of course, a snowball would burn in flames before he apologized.

Now, if only he could figure out why on _earth_ he cared so much. He attempted to conjure up a reason as he prepared to go to the meal, but came up with nothing. The maids sensed he was in a particularly foul mood and made no attempt to dissuade him from leaving his room with a temperature. In the dining hall he sat in his place before Inuyasha blurted out, "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Why shouldn't I be here?" Sesshoumaru snapped back crustily. "I find that ironic coming from a bastard like you, when I have more right to be here than you ever will have."

"Whoa, calm down. Sheesh." Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "I only meant that you reek of sickness."

"And you reek of human, but I do not comment on that," the older brother retorted.

"You two fight like children," Touga muttered.

Sesshoumaru swallowed another growl and began eating.

_Kodomo-tachi, ka? I'll show you how childish I am._

#~#~#

Rin slowly sat up, accepting the cool water from Rika gladly as it slid down her dry throat.

"Do you feel better, Rin-chan?" Rika asked with a bright smile.

She nodded.

"Yokatta. Your fever was so warm you really had me worried. It took two months to break."

Rin lay down again, still feeling the heat of her back.

"The wounds on your back are still infected," Rika continued. "But they should be better soon. Now that your fever has gone, you should recover quicker."

_Onii-chan… Mama…_

"Sesshoumaru-sama has had a bit of a temperature himself. But of course he won't rest to make it go away. He has been training very hard, recently, and has been acting more impatient than usual because of his fever – "

She broke off as the door was flung open, revealing an angry-looking Sesshoumaru.

"You do realize I can hear every word you are saying," he stated.

"Ah, gomenasai, Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rika hurriedly bowed on the floor, praying he wouldn't punish her for her insolence.

"Do you not have some work you should be doing?"

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama." She stood, keeping her head down, and walked quickly out of the room before he also retreated into his own chamber.

Later, in the middle of the night, Rin woke up to hear Sesshoumaru tossing fitfully in his sleep. She began to get up before hesitating; he had ordered her never to enter his chambers, and she knew what would happen if she disobeyed him. But… he wasn't well. Just like she hadn't been. And she knew that she had appreciated Rika's company and Enishi-sensei's attentions during her moments of consciousness.

Nervously, she picked up the cloth and water beside her futon and walked over to the _shoji _that connected the two rooms. She paused, trembling in slight apprehension before deciding and quietly entering the forbidden room.

The door to the balcony was open, sending the hot air into the room which definitely wasn't helping. It was a warm night, so she shut the doors before going over to her master. He was beautiful, she realized. She had never stopped to appreciate his looks before as he acted so coldly toward everyone – even his father – but she had to admit that she had never seen anyone as handsome as he.

Dipping the cloth in the cold water, she wrung it out and dabbed it against his moist forehead. Sesshoumaru's eyes twitched in his sleep, and he seemed to relax under her gentle touch as he breathed deeply. Carefully, Rin stroked his face and neck with the cloth to cool him down.

Suddenly he stiffened, and two golden lamps appeared on his face.

"Rin?"

She nodded in the darkness, hoping he would be able to see in the dim light.

"What are you doing?"

She held up the cloth.

"Didn't I tell you never to enter here without my permission?"

She nodded again.

"And you still did it?" he sounded slightly confused as to why.

Rin tried to peer at him to decipher his expression, but could see nothing in the darkness of the room.

"Hn."

There was a black, empty silence.

"You may continue… what you were doing," Sesshoumaru said gruffly, his luminous eyes leaving her face.

Rin gave a small smile and obeyed. She knew he was too proud to voice gratitude, and he was most likely not feeling his normal cold self, but she hoped that her act of kindness would cancel out any chastisement for insubordination.

When Sesshoumaru woke at dawn, he was alone again. Sitting up, he realized he was feeling a lot better because of the half-night of decent sleep he had gotten.

Tentatively smelling the air in his room, he could tell that Rin had not touched anything other than him. She had disregarded his order to care of his wellbeing.

Why would she do such a thing? It wasn't as if he had been kind to her. It was thanks to him that she had an infected back and a fever that lasted two months. So why would she go out of her way to care for him? He… didn't understand.

Picking up the water and cloth she had left, he quietly opened the _shoji_ to her room. He saw she was in a deep sleep lying on her front, her arms cushioning her head and her hair splayed out over her. Moving her hair out of the way, he pulled at her clothes as gently as possible so as not to wake her to reveal her back. It was still very red with the wounds inflicted by him, and he could smell that the infection had not left. Very lightly he ran his fingers across one cut, and she shivered under his touch.

Covering her up again, he returned to his room and began to get ready for the day, leaving the water and cloth with her.

#~#~#

"Rin," Sesshoumaru said when he entered her room later that evening. "About your disobedience last night…" he paused, looking at her large brown eyes. "Because of what you did, I won't punish you for it. But never enter my chambers for your own reasons or I will. You know this." His finger brushed dangerously over the back of her neck and she did all in her power to stop her shiver. It wasn't enough. Nodding, Rin eyed him hesitantly before reaching up, pausing, and touching his forehead.

Her way of asking of his health.

"I'm fine. My fever has left me. Do not waste your time worrying." Of course, it had to be one crazily high fever in the first place to actually affect him, but she didn't need to know that. It wasn't her concern, anyway.

Getting up, he left her alone before going to Enishi-sensei to ask when she would be strong enough to resume her duties as his slave. The infection was healing slowly, but surely, and the physician thought that in a week she would be recovered enough from the fever to wait on him again, as long as he didn't over-exert her. Also, it would be best for her to spend time outdoors, in the fresh air.

Sesshoumaru nodded his understanding before going back to his room to sleep.

Now, the only thing on his agenda was to get back at his father. Rin had better heal quickly, because in a couple of days she was going back to work. He needed her in the dining room at meal times for a start. And then he still had to beat his father up when "training" – aka fighting in legal circumstances.

#~#~#

"_Nii-chan, I think you were right," Rin said. "I have to make Sesshoumaru-sama protect me from himself by manipulating him."_

"_Good girl," Daiko grinned._

"_But I can't use your methods," she continued. "Sesshoumaru-sama would surely beat me if I did such things. I think… maybe kindness is his weakness. He doesn't get a lot. He works all day, and his father never spends much time with him other than what is necessary. If I'm kind to him, maybe he'll soften up."_

_Her brother shook his head at her. "You'll never change," he said in mock despair. "The thing is, Rin, how can you be kind to your master?"_

"_I don't know yet. But maybe… over time I might be able to find some small things to do. It won't be a sudden change, but maybe over him I can make him kinder."_

The infection cleared up after another two weeks, and during that time she only had to wait on Sesshoumaru until midday when she would rest. Of course, he resumed using her as his concubine, but he didn't whip her for a while. He still hurt her in punishment, but didn't whip her.

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

kudasai – please

watashi no kodomo – my child

watashi wa doko? – where am I?

ookami-tachi – "the wolves"

nii-chan – older brother

imouto – younger sister

kodomo-tachi – children

ka? – huh?

yokatta – "I'm glad"

shoji – sliding door

Ahem. Well. It's a bit longer than the last chapter. Heh. Well, what can I say? It's after midnight and I'm tired.

Anyway, reviews! I like 'em a lot! *falls asleep*


	4. Rin no egao

Sorry, guys. I was on vacation in Scotland for a week. Imagine Scotland being sunny!!!! And it was roasting! Anyway, on with the chapter.

Kikyo is a bit OOC in this. Sorry about that, but it was originally Kagome that Rin met outside and I changed it to fit better with what I have in mind for the Inuyasha love triangle. I've done my best.

_Rin no egao_ – Rin's smiling face

**No tears left to cry** is now wondering about how Izayoi had Inuyasha. Well, (switching to A-level English Lit student mode) I've said in the first chapter how Inu no Taisho won't have any slave other than Izayoi, and that she is treated as his wife. So clearly he loves her. And all women want children, right? So they had to have Inuyasha even though he's a hanyou and born out of wedlock. Okay? Okay…

**Witching hour25**wants to know if Inuyasha will end up loving Rin. In a word: no. I can't stand completely uncanny pairings like that. It's like saying Sango and Sesshoumaru could go together. Or Kagome and Inu no Taisho. It's just _wrong_.

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

Rin was walking through the gardens one evening. She was much recovered from her illness, but still slightly weak and Sesshoumaru had dismissed her for the night, allowing her to take the air. To her surprise, she met up with Kikyo who stopped to talk to her.

"How have you been, Rin-chan?"

Rin gave a bright smile.

"I'm glad. Do you come out to the gardens a lot?"

She nodded.

"They are beautiful. I ask Inuyasha-sama every day if I can take a walk in them. Do you come out every day?"

She tilted her head and shrugged.

"Kagome-chan likes walking as well, but she doesn't come out as much." Kikyo kept droning on about how Inuyasha liked her so much and didn't bother with Kagome, and how she loved his attentions. A quiet noise could be heard, but at first they paid no thought to it. Over time, as it persisted, it grew louder. It was a rustling in the bushes, as though someone was hiding in them waiting to pounce on a victim.

Rin shivered and Kikyo squealed, gripping the younger girl's arm and stepping backward.

"Did you see that?"

Rin looked at her, a shocked expression on her face.

"I saw something in the bushes, I swear I did! It was yellow; it might have been someone's eye!"

The bushes rustled again, and something the color of a bog rose out of it.

"Run!" Kikyo shrieked, grasping Rin's hand as the two of them sprinted away. Unfortunately, they did not run in the direction of the castle and by the time they realized this it was too late to turn around without the large risk of being caught by the youkai.

They kept running. Sweating and panting heavily, they ran as fast as they could through the gardens. Then…

The wall. The wall surrounding the gardens was right in front of them, and they were trapped.

"Split up!" Kikyo gasped, and her hand slipped from Rin's grip as the two of them parted and raced alongside the wall in opposite direction. The youkai, faced with a decision, chose to injure and immobalize one and then pursue the other so he could get both in the end.

Feet pounding against the hard soil, Rin silently screamed as she realized she was the target. _Mama, Onii-chan, tasukete! Tasukete, onegai!_

She knew it was only a matter of time until she came to the gate, and there would be guards who could help –

_Scream! _came the voice of her brother Daiko.

_Demo – _

_You have a voice; use it!_

Her foot got caught on a rock, sending her flying headfirst through the air. As she fell, she let out the most piercing scream she could before landing heavily on the ground and waiting for the youkai to strike her. She could hear its heavy breathing as it stood over her, debating the best way of how to kill her.

_Slash!_

Strange, she didn't feel any pain. Unless it had bisected her so quickly that her brain didn't know her body was now two pieces.

_Th- thud_.

What was… happening? Daring to peek up, to her absolute horror she saw the decapitated youkai lying beside her. Instantly pulling herself away, she looked up to see if Kikyo was alright.

The only person in sight was calmly standing about a hundred yards away, a white-clad arm slowly lowering. His silver hair lifted in the slight breeze.

_Sesshoumaru-sama_…

Rin had only one rational thought, and that was to get nearer to her savior. She was trembling with shock, and scrambled to her feet in a less-than graceful way before dashing over to him, limping slightly on the foot she had grazed with her fall. In a manner of seconds she was close enough to touch him, and without thinking of the consequences she threw her arms around his torso, panting heavily and pressing all of herself against him. She closed her eyes and tried to steady her weak frame.

Sesshoumaru was surprised at her impromptu embrace, and took a step backward in surprise and awkwardness. He did not hug back, but he didn't disentangle her from him either. Not until she was calm again, anyway. To his utter horror he felt her face rub against the soft silk of his haori as she took in his scent.

"_Sesshoumaru-sama_..."

His eyes widened in astonishment. Had she… just spoken? It was only a whisper, true, but still. So she wasn't mute? Then why did she pretend to be?

After some minutes Rin was calmer, although still shaking. Sesshoumaru raised his hand to touch her shoulder and gently pushed her away from him. She seemed loathed to part from him, but obeyed his unspoken command.

"How did the youkai get inside the grounds?" he asked in his usual stoic tone.

Rin shrugged helplessly, her legs unsteady without his support.

He dipped his head slightly and raised it again. "One of Inuyasha's bitches was with you?"

She nodded, pointing in the direction Kikyo had run with a trembling finger.

Seeing she was in no condition to remain outside, he turned to the castle and ordered, "Come inside. It is too cold for you to remain out."

She took a step and stumbled into him, catching his arm and gripping it tightly. Without another word Sesshoumaru put one arm around her shoulders and the other beneath her knees, easily lifting her as though she were a paperweight and striding toward the palace. Rin laid her head on his solid chest, feeling safe in his strong grasp. Once back in the castle he set Rin on her feet and ordered, "Go to the wash room and have a bath. Then I want to see you in my chambers."

Rin nodded shakily and obediently went to the wash room. She knew exactly what Sesshoumaru-sama wanted. He had heard her speak. She didn't think he had, but then, she didn't know how good his hearing was.

She arrived at her room after washing and nervously knocked the shoji to Sesshoumaru-sama's sleeping chamber, entering at his command. He was sitting in his futon studiously with his legs crossed and papers surrounding him. His hand was furiously writing something, frequently traveling from the page to the inkpot beside him, and he merely indicated with one finger she sit on the floor.

He set the _fude_ down after several minutes and finally looked up at her, his cold golden eyes examining her tiny form in silence.

"Well?" Sesshoumaru said eventually.

Rin tilted her head and looked questioning.

He made an impatient noise. "Do not test my patience, girl. You spoke out in the gardens. I heard you say my name."

Ah. So he _did _hear.

Rin opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She closed it only to try again, but once again failed.

"Come here," Sesshoumaru beckoned, and she slid closer to him along the floor. His gaze intensified.

Her lips quivered. _I never deceived you_.

"Then you truly are a mute?"

Nod.

"You can't have always been so."

She shook her head, looking at the ground. Tears rose quickly to her eyes and she tried to blink them back furiously. Arms encircled her and her face expressed the shock she felt as she realized Sesshoumaru was embracing her… in _comfort_. Quickly recovered from the initial surprise she melted into him easily. She trusted him now. He truly was her protector and she knew he would never intentionally harm her for no reason.

Sesshoumaru felt her against him and wondered what made him comfort her. He was, by definition, not compassionate, so why had he felt so disturbed by the thought that something had traumatized her into silence? Just because he frequently knew her carnally – it was her duty, after all – didn't mean he had a special kind of _bond_ with her like his imbecilic brother did with his slaves. But the scent of her tears… it was so _wrong_.

He must be tired of it. Yes, that was it. She cried too much, and he wanted to stop her.

So, if only to stop her tears, how did she end up spending the night sleeping with her head resting in the crook of his neck and her arm across his torso? How did he allow it and, more importantly, why was he in no discomfort about their position? It didn't make any sense. If it was just because he was too tired to care, then why did he stay awake all night listening to her gentle and contented breathing? Of course they had shared a bed before, but this was the first time with the two of them _clothed_. Maybe, as his father had said, he _was_ sick.

#~#~#

Rin silently hummed as she got dressed for breakfast. She was happy that Sesshoumaru hadn't hurt her for speaking – although she still wondered why – and she now saw him as some kind of angel rather than a beast. Her protector. So from now on, she would be happy to be his slave as long as she got to be with him. With him, she was safe.

Why he opened the door connecting his room to hers, Rin spun around and greeted him with a beaming and open smile. Sesshoumaru stared at her for several moments stone-faced before turning and walking through the corridor, silently commanding her to follow. She skipped after him happily.

Inuyasha didn't appear for breakfast, and Inu no Taisho explained to Sesshoumaru that he was worried for his slave Kikyo, who had been seriously injured by the youkai. Sesshoumaru made no indication of caring, but Rin was worried. She had been friends with Kikyo for several years, and she hoped she didn't die.

The evening, when Sesshoumaru dismissed her, he said, "I don't want you to associate with Inuyasha's slaves, understand?"

Hurt and confusion flitted across her eyes, but she quickly covered it. He was her master, and therefore she could not question his decisions. With a bright smile she nodded once.

Sesshoumaru stared. She obviously didn't want to obey, but she intended to. He didn't understand her. What made her so different from yesterday that now she seemed happy and… well, _honored_ to be his slave? What had changed in her so drastically?

Later that night, when he went in to her, he could tell she hadn't disobeyed him because she didn't carry the scents of either girl. He… didn't understand. And this confusion was something he did _not _like. Why would she be so willing to obey him when, only a day ago, she was terrified by his mere presence? Even that night she gave him more pleasure than anyone – including herself – ever had, and it perplexed him even more. What was it that had changed?

#~#~#

A scroll dropped onto Sesshoumaru's lap, and he cursed as it hit the inkpot and spilled over the work on his desk before glaring up at his father.

"Read it," Touga insisted.

Still scowling, he did as he was told, skimming over the letter. It was from his mother, requesting "her darling son come for a visit" and reproaching his father for not sending him in such a long time.

"You leave in three days," his father informed him.

"Is it really necessary?" Sesshoumaru asked. "I am busy here; I cannot afford to fall behind in my work."

"You and I both know you are well ahead of where you need to be, and a month isn't such a long time. I'm sure you'll survive it. And she's right; it _has_ been a while since you last visited her."

_Kuso_.

Touga made to leave, having said what he needed to.

"How long will I be gone for?" Sesshoumaru suddenly asked.

His father shrugged. "It is up to you. Two days, two decades. Take all the time you need." He left the room.

Sesshoumaru sent another glare his way. "Rin."

Rin stepped forward at his summons.

Balancing the empty ink pot on the tips of his fingers, he held it up to her. "Refill this and get me some fresh paper."

She did as she was told quickly.

"Rin, as I'm sure you heard, I will be leaving here in three days."

She nodded in understanding.

"While I am gone, you are to continue to stay clear of the other slaves, as usual. Other than that, you may do as you please."

Again she nodded, this time with her beaming smile.

Sesshoumaru heard the blood pound in his ears at the sight of it, but couldn't understand why. Not only did her smile confuse him, now his body reacted to it? Maybe this visit with his mother would be a good thing; he could have a break from his work at the castle. He was starting to believe more and more that he was sick in some way, and a recess would do him good.

Pushing aside the sight of Rin's smile, he tried to continue his work. However, every time he moved his _fude_ to dip in the ink, an image of her face flashed in his mind and he knew that, until the day he died, he would remember that pure _hohoemi_ of adoration.

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

tasukete – help

demo – but

fude – brush used for writing

kuso – darn/damn

suki ni shiro – do what you want

hohoemi – smile. Not to be confused with _egao_ (smiling face)

*Cough*. Sorry it's so short. I would have preferred it to be longer, but this just seemed like a good place to end. I'll try and hurry and put the next chapter up asap.

I find this chapter slightly… lacking. Anyway, review, ask questions, try and contain your excitement for the next part, and I'll try and do a better job. :D Oh, and one more thing…

_Niko-niko waratte! _(smile a happy smile)


	5. Kimochi

Hey, how's it going? **Important notice: there has been a change in the end of chapter four. You can re-read it if you want, but the only change was that Sesshoumaru did NOT decide to bring Rin on the journey to his mother's. Rin was left behind.** If you read chapter four after I adjusted it, then there is absolutely no point in you reading this notice. Moving on…

Questions:

**Witching hour25 **wants to know if there will be a change in the point of view to show the change in Sesshoumaru. Maybe. I don't know – do you? Hey, I'm making this up as I go.

**XXsimplehardcoreXX **is asking if Rin will start talking now that we know she can. Well, you'll just have to see.

**No tears left to cry **is asking when I'm going to explain about Sesshoumaru's mother. What is there to explain? Why she was banished from the castle? Hmm… we'll see.

Kimochi - feelings

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

"Sesshoumaru," the light voice of his mother greeted him cordially.

"Haha-ue."

She slowly turned away from him and wandered down the path to her gardens. He obeyed her unspoken command to follow.

_What a cold way to greet her only child after two centuries. Even Izayoi would never think of treating Inuyasha in that way_.

He pulled himself out of his thoughts. What made him willingly think about Izayoi? She didn't even deserve his time of day.

"It has been a while," his mother said to a bush.

_Won't you even face me when you speak to me?_

She turned and looked him dead in the eye. "You seem very… stressed, my son."

_I just remembered why I hate this place so much_.

"Are you so saddened to be back with me?"

_Yes. I hate the way you read my mind. Not even Chichi-ue knows me that well_.

The lady raised her delicate eyebrow. "You and I are very much alike, Sesshoumaru," she said, walking aimlessly down the path.

_What joy_.

"Haru!" she called out. A servant practically ran up to her. "Bring refreshment for myself and my son." The servant bowed and silently hurried away. In this castle, words were very rarely spoken that were not made by the mistress or any guests. And with her super-sharp ears she could hear every footstep that echoed on every stone.

The two of them continued down the path slowly. It was a hot day, and the insects buzzed around them in an irritating way. Every so often one would fall to the ground, dead by a burst of poison.

_She is twice as bloodthirsty as me_.

"Tell me, Sesshoumaru," his mother said abruptly. "How does the west fare?"

"It is prospering."

"And?"

"That is all I am at liberty to mention."

"Come, Sesshoumaru. Am I not your father's wife? Do I not have a right to know?"

"Forgive me, Haha-ue, but although you are my father's wife he has renounced your title."

She scowled briefly, an ugly look marring her pretty little features as Haru arrived with a cup of water and one of _sake_. She offered the _sake_ first to Sesshoumaru, who took it and drank it, and then the water to her mistress. The lady looked annoyed by her but said nothing other than, "Have my son's chambers prepared."

Haru bowed again and scampered away like a frightened mouse.

Come to think of it, Sesshoumaru remembered hearing a rumor that any servant had to first have their tongue cut out before working here. _Is my mother that paranoid of gossip? _Before he could stop himself, he asked, "Are any of the servants literate?"

Shooting him a sideways glare, she answered, "No. May I ask the purpose of your question?"

"In case they sneak a look at the papers I brought," he lied, knowing she wouldn't be deceived.

"_My_ son should know better than to leave important scrolls unlocked in a room," she said.

He let it go, not wanting her to read too much into it.

_I just discovered your greatest weakness. But what are you so afraid of being discovered? Is it the reason you live here in this castle, and not with my father? Or is it something else?_

"What are you thinking of?" she asked pointedly, her eyes narrowing almost imperceptibly. He knew to tread lightly. He didn't understand how someone so short tempered could justify being an _inu_. She should be a _neko_.

"The gardens don't look much altered." Hopefully the comment would not be seen as a way of escaping answering, but as a response.

However, his mother knew him too well for that. He was fighting a losing battle, and he knew it.

"The rose bushes were only planted last century," she replied. "It is _much_ altered."

_Kuso_.

"Sesshoumaru," his mother abruptly turned to face him. "You are extremely stressed. You must tell me what is troubling you. Am I not your mother?"

_I am no longer a child, Haha-ue. Whatever problems I have I deal with myself_.

"It is nothing important."

"How could 'nothing important' put your mind in such turmoil?"

_What do _you_ know of my mind?_

"But perhaps you have merely been working too hard?" she mused thoughtfully. "Not to worry; here you will be waited on hand and foot and you won't be required to lift a finger for anything of any importance."

_I hate doing nothing_.

"I hope your father didn't give you work to do while you are here?"

"Iie. I brought work with me."

"Nonsense. You mustn't do it if you are so strained. I'm sure it can wait half a year."

At that point he had just taken a sip of _sake_ and nearly choked on it. _Half… a _year?

"Well, after not seeing you in over two centuries did you really think I would permit you to come only for a few days? You will stay six months at least." She began walking back to the castle before stopping and saying one last thing. "Oh, and Sesshoumaru. Do leave the maids alone. Exercise a little restraint while in my castle. You are my son; that makes you perfectly capable of holding yourself back."

He almost returned to his true form at that.

"Don't be angry, my son," she added before leaving him. "I merely don't wish my grandchild and your heir to be a bastard belonging to a servant."

#~#~#

_Therefore, Chichi-ue, I would ask that, in a month's time, you send word requesting I come home for some work that is necessary for me to take care of. I would be much relieved to leave this place as soon as possible, and Haha-ue will not permit me. Sesshoumaru_.

Touga looked up from the letter. Izayoi and Inuyasha were continuing eating and, due to his eldest son's absence, Rin had resumed her place in the kitchens. But he had a feeling he would be looking for her soon.

While he felt pity for Sesshoumaru, he still scented sickness on the letter after three weeks. It would probably be a bad idea to bring him back to work so in this condition. But if he wasn't happy in his mother's castle…

So he was resigned. Rin would go to Sesshoumaru, and if he was still unwilling to stay he would return home.

#~#~#

Rin almost sighed with relief when the forest ended. She usually liked forests, but after dark they became… spooky. Of course, Inu no Taisho-dono had set a guard to protect her, but even so. Guards only had eyes on one side of their heads. But… had _Sesshoumaru-sama_ been the one protecting her, she wouldn't have felt so afraid. _Sesshoumaru-sama_ was invincible.

She approached the large castle with the horse-youkai guard slightly behind her. No doubt he was glad to arrive at the destination; because of the long distance he had had to carry her most of the way – something not particularly comfortable for either of them.

"What do you do here, human?" came the harsh voice of a woman. Rin turned to face her, and saw how unnaturally beautiful she was – and how much she resembled Sesshoumaru.

_This must be his mother_.

Pulling out a letter, she bowed and gave it to the lady. The demoness snatched it and tore it open, scanning her eyes over it quickly.

"Very well; if my husband sent you then I can do little to oppose him. You will most likely find my son in his chambers. Haru will show you."

The servant came up, bowed, and began leading Rin through the extensive palace.

Sesshoumaru was trying to relax in the indoor baths when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," he said, sinking deeper into the water. Haru entered.

"Forgive me, my lord, but a young human just arrived at the castle from your father," she explained. "She carried this letter for you." She handed him the paper, and he took and read it.

_Since you are so against remaining at your mother's castle I sent Rin to you and only ask that you stay another two weeks as a minimum. Then, if you want, I will ask for your return_.

He frowned to himself and scrunched the paper up in his fist. The stupid dog of a father! What could Rin do that would possibly ease staying here? Although… he _had_ missed her scent. It was nice. But at the moment he couldn't smell it because of the steam in the bath that was toying with his nose. Perhaps it _would_ be better to have her here. And it was only for two weeks. On the other hand, he hadn't missed home at all through hating his mother's palace. He had… _perhaps_ missed training with his father. But he hadn't missed working, Izayoi, and especially not Inuyasha.

"Send her in," he ordered Haru. She looked surprised – he _was_ bathing, after all – but bowed and hurried to obey. Rin appeared in the doorway, and the first thing he noticed was that her obi was tied at the back rather than the front. For traveling, he supposed, so men did not think she was a common whore. A trace of her scent reached him, and he just barely managed to stop himself jumping out of the water and shoving his nose into her neck… or other places… to smell more.

_Restraint_, he chanted to himself. _Make her come to you_.

"Come," he ordered, taking care not to sound over-eager. She walked to him with an air of hesitancy, and his arm snaked around her waist and tugged her obi loose. _Stupid knot, being at the back_. Her cotton traveling clothes hung limply on her, and he raised himself out of the water slightly to push them off her shoulders onto the wet floor. Once she was naked he pulled her down and she fell with a splash, throwing her arms around his neck in her panic.

Oh, he was going to enjoy this.

#~#~#

Sesshoumaru's eyes slid from side to side, his head never moving, analyzing his opponent's stance. She was perfectly still, about to run and perform a forceful attack using her speed, so it would be better for him to dodge than block.

As he anticipated, she suddenly sprinted toward him at her full speed. He leaped high into the air, a split second before she pushed herself off the ground to meet him. _Kuso_. Now he had to block, and they both knew it wasn't enough. Her sheer velocity was enough to split the katana in his hands, and half of it fell to the ground. _Weak human weapons_. Dropping the hilt he attacked with his claws, but she was too fast and dodged easily, managing to slice open his arms in the process. He paid no attention to the cuts; they weren't deep. Realizing he couldn't hit her up close, he jumped backwards to put some distance between them and his poison whip shot out of his fingers.

She dodged easily and while his arms were flung vulnerably away from his body she had her katana at his throat before he could blink.

"You lose again, Sesshoumaru," his mother said. His face stayed emotionless as he turned away from her and walked off the training arena. She followed him.

"That was one of the many openings I could have taken," she continued. "You really must stop leaving your body vulnerable; had I been a true adversary you would easily have been dead."

Sesshoumaru was silent, listening to her criticism. Rin was standing on the sidelines holding his haori, and he took it off her to cover his bare chest before going back inside the castle. She followed him to his chambers and went into her sleeping room for a moment, returning with a bucket of cold water and a cloth. He was sitting on the balcony when she reappeared, and turned his head to look at her. She was already busy soaking the cloth and wringing it out before gently wiping the cuts on his arms.

He should have stopped her; it was entirely unnecessary as he would be fully healed in a few hours. But… it just felt so nice. And she was so gentle it was like very fine powder running over him. She looked up at him, expecting reprimand, and before he knew what he was doing he brought his face down to hers and kissed her. Her scent and taste were the only things on his mind as his lips traveled slowly down her chin and neck.

_I feel… so contented. As usual my mother was right; I have been stressed. But now… with Rin I'm at ease. I feel normal again_.

Going back to her mouth Sesshoumaru kissed her again more passionately, his tongue delving into her and touching hers.

_This feels nothing like any other time I've used her. I've always harmed her in some way, even if it was only a grazed lip. But now… I have no intention of hurting her. And I don't know why I ever did_.

He pulled her closer, realizing her arms were around his neck clinging to him tightly. She moved according to his will, but also of her own.

The knock on the door brought him to his senses. What was he _doing_? He was acting as if… as if he _cared_ for a slave! He was acting like his father, like Inuyasha!

With a growl he pushed her away roughly and stood up, going inside breathing heavily – almost panting. Flinging the _shoji_ open, he all but shouted, "What?" at the servant.

Trembling at his foul temper, Haru bowed and silently handed him the letter that had just arrived from his father before scampering away to safety.

He scrunched the letter in his fist and threw it across the room before storming out, slamming the _shoji_ closed. His feet made loud _thuds_ on the wood as he made his way through the castle. His mother joined him outside, and with a mere glance ordered him to follow her. Outside the grounds she began her _henshin_, and he did likewise before they began running fast. He was slightly smaller than her, perhaps by a head (in this form rather than the human size), showing that she was still more powerful than him.

They ran for miles. Sesshoumaru followed her until they finally arrived back at the castle. When reverting to their human forms he felt a lot calmer.

"My son," his mother said. "What could have caused you to be so livid?"

What, indeed.

"I caught myself acting like Chichi-ue," he said simply. _I can say that, but… although it's true, it's not really the whole reason_.

"You mean in regard to his whore?" she raised her eyebrow.

_Kuso_. Why did she have to be so perceptive? He averted his eyes and glared at a nearby bush.

"Perhaps it is time you had a mate," she walked up to him and put her hands on his shoulders. "It would surely do you good and it will mean that you can stop relying on those pathetic human concubines. I will send a few of my friends' daughters your way."

_Perhaps she's right… it surely _would_ be an advantage to send Rin away. Of course, I could do that anyway but… I don't want to. I want her scent to stay with me_.

"I have one request, Haha-ue," he said. "I will not be part of an arranged marriage. I wish to choose my mate myself." He lowered his eyes while adding the last part; he was somewhat embarrassed to admit it out loud. "I… would not have myself treat a woman the way Chichi-ue treated you. It is shameful indeed to be replaced by a human whore."

She raised her eyebrow again before – to his utter shock – pulled his face down and kissed both cheeks. This unexpected – and totally impromptu – display of affection left him stunned into motionlessness. His mother parted from him and spoke as if nothing had happened.

"I am relieved that you are turning out to be more responsible than him at such an early age," she said, turning and walking casually into the building. "You will make a much better ruler than him, with your level of development. In fact, you would do a better job now than he could ever hope to."

Her words gave him something to think about as he went back to his chambers. Rin was still there, sitting on the balcony almost exactly where he had left her. She stood quickly and bowed at his entrance.

"Leave," he ordered. After a fleeting glance at him, she smiled. He almost took a step backward under the force of it, but the feeling was quickly overwhelmed as she obeyed his command, going to her sleeping chamber and closing the door.

Sesshoumaru went to the balcony again and stood staring out into the gardens.

_Chichi-ue says I am immature, yet Haha-ue considers my development greater than his. Who is right? I respect Chichi-ue's thoughts and judgments because he is my sire and he has taught me a great many things. But, that being said… he doesn't know me as well as Haha-ue, who can all but read my mind. And he _did_ say that Inuyasha would be a better daimyo than I, so he is not always right. But even so… whether he is right or not, I must still grow to fit into his image of mature regardless_.

He heard the sheets rustling in the room next to him as Rin prepared for sleeping.

_If I follow Haha-ue's advice and take a mate, I must send Rin away. I suppose that would be a good thing… What am I thinking? Of course it would be a good thing. I have no need of humans and, as Haha-ue says, I shouldn't be dependent on them. Not that I am. I could easily do without Rin if I wished. Or any slave. But… her scent_.

As she settled down to sleep, he could hear her murmuring, "Sesshoumaru-sama" quietly.

His heart skipped a beat.

_When she first came, I would beat her. Since I saved her from that youkai she acts as if she adores me. I don't know what changed but, if I'm honest with myself, I'm glad it did. _Snapping into a "logical" mode, he countered, _Because if she still feared me, she wouldn't pleasure me as much and I wouldn't be feeling as natural and calm as I have been_.

Remembering a letter had arrived from his father, Sesshoumaru went inside and picked it up off his futon. After flattening it out and opening it he quickly scanned his eyes over the kanji. It was the promised request that he come home to assist in matters necessary for him to be present for. It was a quick note, and nothing in it would give his mother suspicion that the "matters" were non-existent.

_I feel much better, but I don't think I want to stay with Haha-ue any longer. I have had a break, and now it is time to return to work. Plus I want to train with Chichi-ue again. At least _he_ does more than criticize me_.

Lying on the futon, he stared at the ceiling and made up his mind. _Yes, I wish to return home_.

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

Haha-ue – mother (formal)

inu – dog

neko – cat

henshin – transform/change

daimyo – feudal lord

Yay, I got my writing spirit back! I kinda lost it for a while. Anyway, please review!


	6. Kibo?

Hiya all! Just a quick note to say that I re-started school today after summer vacation, so my updates will probably be slower from now on. Another couple of things:

**Ronwixziv Barreiro**; glad you like it, and I do know that this story has been posted on mf. I am a fan of that website, but I just don't want another account for something else to confuse my life so I asked JJ (**soulless_serpent**) to post it, knowing that not everyone on that website reads ff. Also, I _do_ read the reviews there, and they give me great joy. Also, **animeprincess_9387** says thanks for letting people know that more of this story is posted here than on mf.

**princess-myu**; maybe in the epilogue they'll have children. Or, if I'm feeling especially dramatic, I'll make Rin get pregnant sometime. But later.

kibo - hope

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

"We'll stop here for the night."

Sesshoumaru was mildly irritated at only being able to travel during daylight hours. Had Rin not been with him, this journey could have been vastly reduced. Not only would he be able to walk non-stop, but his pace would be three times what it currently was.

Although, if he was honest with himself… he was in no hurry to return home. He was glad of Rin's presence because it gave him an excuse to prolong the journey and defer his arrival at a place where he had no wish to be. She permitted him to be suspended between two places he disliked, and it was completely understandable to everyone in both places. And he hated the way she could do something like that for him by merely existing.

Rin smiled tiredly and yawned behind her hand. She was too exhausted to start a fire, so she collapsed beside Aun and leaned her head against his scales before closing her eyes.

There was a quick breeze, and she opened her eyes to see Sesshoumaru had gone. She felt as though her heart had suddenly stopped beating.

_Sesshoumaru-sama?_

He had been acting so strange since they left his mother's citadel. In fact, since he had last trained with his mother. He… he had kissed her. Not that that in itself was unusual, but it… felt different. She was sure that that time something had changed in him – but she had no idea what it could be. And then… after kissing her he didn't have his way with her. That was so strange. And… in a way she missed it. But for some reason she didn't know.

It had been nearly two weeks since then, and they spent all that time traveling back to the western palace. He had touched her since, but he avoided kissing her until they were both unclothed. It reintroduced the awkwardness of undressing in front of someone, as before he had usually kissed her while sliding her kimono off her. It made the act of them coming together seem as though it was something they both wanted rather than just something they did. Which, technically it was, but… she wanted it to be more. She wanted him to care for her.

Could it be that she loved him?

That was dangerous – he was her master; he _owned_ her. If he wished, he could get rid of her in an instant. If he ever discovered that she loved him he would send her away – or even kill her. He was a youkai, after all, and they tended to kill those in their way.

She didn't think he would.

Of course, he was fully capable of it, but… he wouldn't really, would he? Well, she supposed that loving her master was such a crime that was easily punishable by death. Especially since he was a youkai and she wasn't. It was… looked down upon by all societies.

But there was Izayoi. She must love Inu no Taisho-sama, because she was always so happy around him. And it was obvious that he loved her, because he gave her a child, allowed it to live, and treated her as though she were his wife. Then… there was hope for Rin. If Sesshoumaru-sama's father could love a human concubine, then why couldn't he?

But why _would_ he? She was just a human of fourteen, soon to be fifteen. She wasn't particularly pretty, and had no skills to boast of. Well, she could read and write, but that was looked down upon for women. Everything about her dictated that there was nothing to love. And he was so cold and uncaring. He had seriously injured her before. Why – indeed, _how_ could he ever love someone like her?

Tears filled her sleepy eyes in the darkness as she whispered, "Sesshoumaru-sama…" She was afraid. He had left the temporary camp, and there was no one but Aun (asleep) to protect her should a youkai happen upon her.

"What is it?"

His deep, rich, cold voice seemed to come from nowhere. Relief flooded through her like hot water.

_He's nearby. He's close enough to protect me. He's near me_.

Lying down again, Rin closed her eyes. As long as he was close, she was able to sleep in the tiny clearing.

Golden orbs watched her unblinkingly, hidden by the leaves of the tree Sesshoumaru was perched in. After half an hour she began shivering due to the lack of a fire, and he considered building one for her. The thought was pushed back by the desire to hold her and warm her using the heat from his own body. He could hold her close, and all she would think was that he was being considerate to her needs.

Of course, it was utterly and completely out of character for him, but even so. What were the chances that she would wake up?

Gently dropping to the ground he softly walked over to her and sat by her, his back against Aun, and tenderly coaxed her into the crook of his arm. She willingly moved toward him in her dreamy state, and cuddled onto his chest with a smile flitting across her face.

_At this point I don't care that I'm acting too affectionately toward her. I just don't want her to get sick again._

…_I never want her to get sick again_.

#~#~#

Rin woke with her head lying on something soft and warm. Whatever it was, it was definitely _not_ Aun's scaly flank, but she liked it. She cuddled closer to the strange pillow, rubbing her face against it lightly and inhaling the soothing fragrance. It smelt like… like…

She gasped and sat up suddenly, her eyes snapping open. She had been lying on Sesshoumaru's chest!

His arm slid away from its position on her waist and his head, which had been resting back on Aun, was lifted up to look at her. Rin mentally slapped herself. Had she been quieter and less sudden in her movements, this may have been one of the extremely rare times when she would see her master asleep. She hadn't seen him that way since that night in his room when he had a fever, but she loved his face when it was so relaxed and when he had no guards up. He looked so peaceful when he slept, and almost… well, _boyish_. Of course, she loved how manly he looked when awake, but still. The momentary change was enchanting.

"You were shivering," he said to her surprised gaze. It took a moment for her to understand his meaning.

"Arigatou," she said in a very soft voice.

He started. Three times she had said his name, but that was the first time she had ever spoken anything else. He supposed it was good, but it sounded so… foreign. But in a good way. Her voice… it sounded pleasant to his ears.

"If you wish to eat breakfast, hurry and find something. I hope to arrive at the palace today." That was a lie. He would be perfectly content to stay with her in the forest wandering around aimlessly. But to do that he would have to admit that he felt happy in her presence, and that wasn't something he was ready to say even to himself.

Rin nodded and got up to look for berries of some sort while he put on his armor, having removed it while holding her. She quickly returned, and they resumed walking until they got to the western castle in the early evening. She didn't know what she was expecting upon their return, but what they received was definitely not a welcoming committee. No one came to greet them, and servants that they passed merely murmured a respectful, "Welcome back, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Go directly to the wash room and bathe," Sesshoumaru said to her as he swept through the relatively empty corridors. "I will have Rika fetch your things from Aun's saddle and leave them in your room. You will not be required to wait on me again until morning tomorrow morning as usual."

Rin nodded, giving him a smile and a bow, before carrying out his orders. After a long, relaxing soak in a hot bath she felt much better and cleaner… and exhausted. However, she hadn't eaten since that morning and she was famished. Going down to the kitchens she mutely managed to ask the chef for some kind of food. He eventually understood and gave her a bowl of stew. It wasn't really hot enough, but better than she had had in almost two weeks, and she devoured it in moments. Smiling her thanks, she handed the bowl back and went straight to her room. On her way she passed Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru, who were glaring at each other tensely. Inuyasha's stance was such that it looked like he was about to begin a battle. Slipping past them and trying to seem invisible, she arrived at her sleeping room and collapsed on the futon and fell asleep without even bothering to change into her sleeping kimono.

The next morning she was so deeply asleep that it took Rika a full five minutes to wake her from slumber. Panicking slightly for her tardiness – for five minutes was enough to split her dressing time in half – she hurried into a clean kimono and ran through the corridors to the entrance to Sesshoumaru's rooms. He was already outside; a bad sign.

"You are late," he stated, and she sensed his moodiness. Clasping her hands, she bowed submissively in apology. "Do not let it happen again."

_Is he being… understanding to my needs? It's true that I was tired because of all the traveling I have done recently, but is that why he didn't punish me for being so late? _Her countenance brightened considerably. _Is there hope for him, then, after all?_

As the days passed, she noticed a change in his treatment of her. It had been evident during their travels, but she thought it merely the inconveniences of being outdoors all the time. He no longer whipped her or harmed her in any way – even accidentally. It was as though he was being extra cautious not to hurt her. Then there was how awkward he acted when he came to take her. It was… almost as if he was contemplating leaving her be. That made her uneasy – was he bored with her? Did she no longer please him? She vowed to please him more, but the next time he came he was always _more_ awkward than before rather than less. And yet… he came to her more often than before; almost every night. He even _talked_ to her, and she began to speak in response. Only to him, though. Outside her or his rooms she didn't breathe a word.

Some weeks later, during a mid-day meal, there was an unusually high amount of tension in the room. Rin knew that lately Sesshoumaru had been "training" with Inuyasha because she had seen and even cleaned the wounds all down his torso. A part of her marveled that she was permitted to do such an intimate gesture, but she was worried that the brothers would end up killing one another soon. In fact, the sight of her master's wounds gave her nightmares of such.

Touga attempted to ease the mood; he, too, knew of the fighting his sons had been doing. "I received another letter from your mother, Sesshoumaru."

Sesshoumaru silently raised some rice to his mouth, glaring at the hanyou opposite him.

"She said to expect a demoness within the next few days. Does this mean you have decided to take a mate?"

Forced to speak, the young taiyoukai answered, "Haha-ue thinks it best if I do."

"And you agree with her?"

"Perhaps. It is something to consider."

Rin felt her heart go cold. Sesshoumaru was going to take a mate? Then what would happen to her? Would he keep her? Not likely. Would he send her away? Probably. Would he _kill_ her? Maybe…

_I… don't want to leave him. I don't want another woman to have him! I truly do love him! But… he could never_...

"Keh. As if _he _would choose to be tied down like that," Inuyasha said irritably.

"Inuyasha…" his father warned.

"Well it's true. The whole _palace_ knows Rin is the first slave he's kept more than two months. He'd get bored of a mate within a year and probably kill her like the son of a bitch he is."

The waiting servants held their breath in fear, expecting Sesshoumaru to blow up in anger.

He merely stiffened, his hand frozen halfway between his mouth and his plate. Of course he _knew_ there was truth in the phrase, but it was one thing to see himself as something and _completely_ another thing for a hanyou to speak of him as such.

He rose to his feet, leaving his half-empty plate of food. Before going to exit the room, he calmly stated, "Better the son of a bitch than the child of a whore."

The waiting servants all gasped. Touga made to rise and go after his eldest son, but Izayoi stopped him with a hand on his arm. Inuyasha was shocked into silence by the verbal attack.

Rin looked sympathetically at him before quickly rising and going after her master.

_He truly means that. I don't know what I was thinking; of course he could never love me. I'm just his concubine, nothing more. Of course he must have a mate; it is his duty. And he must have an heir, as well. A full-blooded youkai, like himself. Something I could never give him. Anyway, he would never… I mean… to give my master a _child…_ It is unthinkable. He would probably kill me for the shame of it_.

She felt like bursting into sobs at the hopelessness of her situation, but restrained herself as she went into his room through her own. He had not given her permission to enter, but she knew the stab Inuyasha had made must have cut into him.

He was on the balcony looking over the gardens, gripping the rail with white knuckles. Rin swallowed her feelings and approached him cautiously. When she was beside him and she was sure he was fully aware of her presence she inched closer, daring to raise her hand to rest lightly on his. Was it her imagination, or did his tight knuckles relax slightly under her touch?

"You are distressed," he said softly.

She didn't dare look up at him for fear of dissolving into tears. Opening her mouth, she whispered an honest, "Hai."

"Why?"

She swallowed nervously. She couldn't _tell_ him the true reason, could she? He would be angry at her audacity – after all, what right did she have to fall in love with one such as him? With her _master_?

But she couldn't lie, either. Even if she wasn't a terrible liar to begin with, she was sure he would still be able to see through it.

"Ano… I am concerned that… you and Inuyasha-sama… will seriously hurt each other," she admitted softly.

"Why should you be troubled for the sake of that half-breed?"

"I am also worried… for your sake, my lord. And… I don't want… I don't want anyone to die… half-breed or not."

There was a brief pause. "You have a kind soul, Rin," Sesshoumaru blurted out.

Rin's breath caught.

_Did he… just… compliment me?_ A beaming smile made its way onto her face, over-whelming her feelings of self-pity and misery._ That's the first real nice thing he's ever said to me_. She felt so warm inside knowing he thought something so well of her. Without realizing it she leaned her head on his upper arm, her height unable to quite reach his shoulder. She sprang away from him when a knock came from the door, both horrified and thankful that he didn't seem to mind her contact. Life was so different from when she had first arrived.

Sesshoumaru swept across the floor to open the shoji. Rika quickly bowed and said, "Sesshoumaru-sama, a young woman just arrived and she is asking for your presence. She said her name is Misei. She is in the gardens."

He nodded his understanding.

The servant bowed again and left.

"Rin, ikuzo."

Rin smiled and danced after him. She wanted so badly to hold his hand, or take his arm, or do_ something_ to get closer to him, but she feared rebuke. Especially when things had been going so well…

They walked out to the gardens. A beautiful young inuyoukai was staring at some bushes with distaste. Her long silver hair had a pinkish tinge to it, accented by the _sakura_ shade of her _uchikake_. Her height was mere inches lower in Sesshoumaru's, and her face had a cute, peppy look when she stopped scowling.

"You _must _be Sesshoumaru-sama!" she gushed immediately. "Your scent is just like your mother's!"

His eyes narrowed imperceptibly, but Rin could feel him stiffen in anger. So he already didn't like her. The human felt her mood brighten at this realization.

"Misei," he greeted tensely, abandoning the use of an honorific to show his distaste. "How long are you planning on staying?"

Rin fought to keep a smile off her face at his lack of decorum responding to the youkai's. She should have waited for _him_ to speak first, being male and her host, and comparing him to a banished female, regardless of the truth of her statement, was flat-out insulting.

Misei's forehead creased slightly. "I am only able to stay a few days, as I am returning to my home," she replied, disappointment lining her tone at his manner.

_Good, I'm glad she can't stay long_.

"Would you be so good as to show me a room?"

_Her audacity is endless!_

Sesshoumaru wordlessly turned and walked into the castle, stopping a servant and ordering a room be prepared. The servant bowed and immediately went to carry out the task.

"Do you have an indoor _onsen_?" Misei asked. "I would dearly like to cleanse myself. I am so dusty from my journey."

"Rin, show her the wash room," Sesshoumaru said. "I will be in the library when you have done that."

Rin bowed and turned to the demoness before taking off down the corridors.

"You are human?" the guest said with distaste.

Rin nodded.

"Do not insult me, child. Speak when it is required of you."

Tatsu, one of the servants, happened to be passing when the comment was made, and dared to interrupt.

"Forgive me for my rudeness, my lady, but I think it necessary to tell you that Rin-san is a mute."

Misei sniffed. "How dare you speak to me when I did not address you!"

"Ten thousand apologies, my lady," Tatsu bowed and hurried away, leaving the daiyoukai gaping after him in shock.

"Well, child? Hurry and show me the wash room!" she demanded Rin when she had recovered.

#~#~#

"Rin."

Rin looked up from her book at Sesshoumaru, who had just entered her room. Setting it aside, she realized it was much too dark for being so early in the evening. Assuming he wished to make use of her, she stood and began to loose her obi.

"Matte."

She stopped in surprise.

"Your futon is too small. Come to mine."

Shocked, she went into his room. Not that she was displeased with the arrangement; she did love his chambers because of the space and the lightness, but it was so strange of him. He had never desired her on _his_ bed before.

Sesshoumaru opened the balcony doors and stepped out. Rin went with him, wind slapping their clothes and hair across their faces. Dark storm clouds blocked out what little light the setting sun should have given, and a light rain showered over them.

"Misei believes you to be mute," he said after a while, his back to her as his hands rested on the railings.

A part of her turned cold, realizing she was about to get in trouble.

"Why do you deceive her?"

She swallowed before answering timidly. "I find it… difficult to speak… after such a long… time of silence," she said.

"Yet you talk to me."

"You are… my master."

He turned around to face her as the rain got heavier. The winds were strong, and his hair blew everywhere.

"So you have not said a word that is not to me?"

She nodded, pulling her clothes tightly around her in the cold. Lightening split the sky, and was soon followed by a clap of thunder. It was because of this that she missed the flicker of emotion in Sesshoumaru's eyes.

The wind slammed one of the balcony doors closed with a bang, and Rin jumped forward in shock. It took a moment to realize how close her proximity was to her master, and she blushingly stepped away. In the next second she felt his lips on hers as he forced her back into the wet glass door. She willingly opened her mouth to allow his tongue inside, and as he tasted her he pulled her into the room again and shut the door, all without breaking his hold on her.

The next few moments were a blur of kisses, hands and heat. Rin lost her clothes quickly, and made some progress with pushing Sesshoumaru's haori off his shoulders to reveal his muscular chest. The bliss of the moment was shattered by a desperate knock on the door.

They reluctantly broke apart. Sesshoumaru was livid that someone _dared_ to interrupt his time with Rin, and he furiously leapt to the door in a single bound, snapping it open with red tingeing his eyes.

Misei was standing there, her sleeping kimono loose around her shoulders and revealing an ample view of her bosom. Her expression was a mixture of seductiveness and terror.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, forgive me, but I am so scared of thunder," she said in a pleading voice. "Please, permit me to sleep next to you, for I must rest before I leave in the morning and it impossible that I can sleep alone during a storm such as this."

Rin unwillingly picked up her clothes and wrapped them around her, covering herself as she stood and backed away into her room. She felt tears blur her vision as she thought of someone Sesshoumaru did not even _tolerate_ being allowed to share his bed. She put on her sleeping kimono and laid down on her futon, restlessness preventing her from falling asleep instantly. She was dozing off when she felt a hand on her shoulder and sleepily opened her eyes to see Sesshoumaru staring down at her, his chest still bare.

"Misei-sama?" she asked quietly.

"Asleep," he replied, raising her to a sitting position and pulling her clothes apart again, this time with the intent of finishing what he started.

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

arigatou – thank you

hai – yes

ano – um

Misei – beautiful spirit

ikuzo – "I'm going; you follow me"; "let's go."

sakura – cherry blossoms

uchikake – a formal and expensive outer layer of a court kimono

matte – wait

And there we go! Another chapter! Review please and let me know what you think!


	7. Rival

Konbanwa, minna-san! Good news! I actually know where I'm going with this story! I have everything planned out! (This rarely happens when I begin a story). Anyway, I promise you, the ending will be nothing like you expect!!! Mwahahaha! That's all I'm saying for now. (I think I'm hyper, how about you? This is strange; I haven't been anywhere near sugar. It's withdrawal symptoms! Anyway, enjoy the chapter. I had lots of fun writing it. Apologies if it seems too jumpy).

**Tomoyo**; Rin said her first word in chapter 3 just after Sesshou saved her life. The first word she said has hasn't been Sesshoumaru's name was during their journey home from his mother's palace. Since then she's been slowly getting better.

**Princess-myu**; love triangle? Hmm… maybe. We'll see… (evil laugh… mwahaha).

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

Rin raised herself up sleepily, the covers falling off her unclothed form as she did so, before realizing that Sesshoumaru had remained beside her the whole night. He was still sleeping, the boyish look that she loved on his face. She cautiously ran her hand over his muscular chest, careful not to wake him as she savored the feel of him. With extra care, she pulled her face up to his and pressed her lips so very gently against the magenta stripes on his cheeks. He instinctively reached for her and pulled her closer, his hand caressing her soft hair as he nuzzled into her neck and breathed in deeply. She gave a silent giggle, both because of his actions and because she was ticklish. Snuggling against him, she shut her eyes again in contentment. She could never remember being so happy.

"Rin-chan!" Rika's voice called from outside her chamber.

Rin's eyes snapped open and she sat bolt upright. Her jerking movements woke Sesshoumaru, and he groggily looked up at her, seeming disorientated. The shoji was barely opened an inch when he realized what was happening, and before it moved the same distance again he had grabbed his clothing and vanished into his room without being either seen or heard by the servant.

"Oh, you're already awake," Rika said when she had entered. "The lord says you must dine in the kitchens with the servants today along with Inuyasha-sama and Izayoi-sama, as Misei-sama's father has come to join her. He is very powerful, and angering him in any way cannot be risked."

The human nodded in understanding – and a little disappointment at being forced to part with Sesshoumaru three times that day, once again because of Misei.

Rika went to the wardrobe and pulled out a kimono, bringing it over to her. "Sesshoumaru-sama has been using you a lot lately," she commented in a low voice.

Rin nodded again, this time slower and with slight confusion.

"Are you alright?"

Nod.

"Youkatta, but please know that if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'll make time amidst my duties," she said before leaving to allow the slave to dress.

Rika didn't understand. Rin was _happy_ that Sesshoumaru came to her so often. And having to wait on him all day… she was so glad that she could be of some use to him even though she was only a human. Even doing tiny things like refilling ink pots. And when she wasn't doing these little jobs, she could sit near him and stare at him, memorizing every tiny detail of him that she knew already. His image was etched on her heart.

"Rin," Sesshoumaru opened the shoji between their rooms. "You are not required to wait on me for today only."

Despair flooded her instantly. She wouldn't see him for a whole _day_! How would she survive this shocking deprivation? What was she going to _do _to distract herself from thinking of him and make the time pass quicker?

Forcing a bright smile, she bowed to him. He hesitated before retreating back into his room – something she would never have imagined _him_ doing – and took a step toward her, bringing his hand up to stroke her cheek. The brief contact sent joy coursing through her, even as she watched him vanish into his own chamber. She didn't know what made him commit the act, but she didn't care. She was so happy that he had, regardless of his reasons. It showed he _cared_ about her, and that was what she wanted more than anything. She wanted him to _love_ her, and if that was impossible then just a small amount of care would be enough for her to be perfectly content.

…Almost.

#~#~#

What… was _that???_

Sesshoumaru went down to the breakfast meal with his thoughts in a turmoil. He had thought it best to not have Rin hanging around him if Misei's father – a daiyoukai strong enough to take on his _father,_ never mind _him_ – was going to find it offensive (which he, no doubt, would), so she would just have to stay away for the time being. But… he had sensed disappointment in her. Why on earth would she be _disappointed_ that she didn't have to serve? Should she not be glad that she had an opportunity to relax all day? And yet she smiled at him again… she was going to obey him cheerfully, even though she didn't like what she had to do.

The mere sight of her in that moment had made his chest swell with some unknown sensation. More than anything he wanted to kiss her and hold her tightly against him. What was it that made him feel that way? And _why_ did he find it so difficult to contain himself around her? True, he had settled for a mere stroke to her face, but that did not dim his desires nor his struggle to give in to them. And… the quick brush against her had flared a mixture of emotions through her eyes. It made her forced smile turn real quicker than he could have imagined possible – and it made him want to return her gesture. For _once_ in his life, he felt the need to smile a _happy_ smile – not a deathly one – at someone he lo-

Whoa, stop right there.

He mentally repeated his previous thought as he stood frozen in the middle of the hallway. Was he… had he been about to say someone he _loved_?

Oh, no; he didn't _love_ her, did he?

Sesshoumaru refused to think about it. Like anything he was completely baffled about or didn't understand, he pushed it to the back of his mind as he continued to the dining hall. He passed Inuyasha on his way to the kitchens, and briefly pondered the strange look the younger had given him. On entering the dining hall he saw Misei's father, who had arrived some time before dawn, give him a similar glance before his own father swiftly approached him and, grabbing his arm tightly, forced him out of the room.

"Chichi-ue, what is it?" he asked, mildly irritated and somewhat even more perplexed.

"What's wrong with you?" Touga asked in a demanding way.

"Nothing."

His father made an irritated noise. "Don't give me that, Sesshoumaru; you absolutely _reek_ of sickness."

Hearing these words he felt a pit form in his gut for some unfathomable reason.

"You can't even smell it?" his father exclaimed.

"I do not make a habit of taking notice of my own scent, Chichi-ue. But I am not sick. As I said, there is nothing wrong with me."

"Sesshoumaru, you've borne this scent for over a year!"

His breath caught. "A… year?"

_This is the sickness I overheard him talk to Izayoi about months ago… Is it very serious? And why should Chichi-ue choose to tell me about it now? Why did he say nothing sooner?_

"Chichi-ue, why is it that you have never mentioned it before?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"I was waiting for some other kind of sign that it truly was an ailment. I half-expected you to keel over one morning, I suppose."

"Then why bring it up now?"

"When you returned back from your mother's you seemed normal again. There have been hints of it in the past few weeks, but it is only this morning that it has fully resurfaced."

_Only this morning… But why is it that Haha-ue said nothing to me? She mentioned no sickness when I was with her, and she is not the kind of woman to let that pass her by_.

"Did your mother fail to notice it?"

"That is not possible."

Touga nodded. "I agree. We'll go and see her later. For now, Katsutoshi is waiting for us, and he must not be given any cause to feel insulted."

Sesshoumaru also nodded, following the older daiyoukai back inside the dining hall. Misei was sitting staring at the floor, the scent of salt water coming off her. Katsutoshi looked stern, and spoke to Sesshoumaru.

"I offer you my deepest apologies for Misei's behavior last night. It was disgraceful of her to go to your chambers, and she promises," he glanced sharply at his daughter, "not to do it again, should you invite her back here."

Sesshoumaru accepted the apology, and the meal passed slowly and mostly in silence. After being released he walked round to the library, and bumped into Misei as she was exiting it.

"Gomenasai, Sesshoumaru-sama," she bowed apologetically.

He waited for her to move away.

"I… was just looking for you," she offered. When he failed to respond once again, she added, "I wished to apologize for my behavior these last few days. I know I haven't been acting very appropriately, but I was honestly hoping you would take me as your mate. My father…" she nervously checked the area around her, "He is very strict, and I hope to become mated as soon as possible in order to leave home. But I see that you hold no interest in me, and will not be disturbing you again."

He looked at her in surprise; who knew the spoilt brat would turn out to be not so bad after all? A shame she hadn't started off like this; he may have liked her. But even so, she wasn't Rin, so she wasn't good enough –

_What do I mean by that? Of course Misei is good enough; she is the daughter of a powerful daiyoukai. She is a pureblood inu; a perfect match for me. It is _Rin_ who is not good enough, as a human_.

"I accept your apology and understand your reasons," Sesshoumaru finally spoke. "Please believe me when I wish you every happiness for your future."

Misei smiled at him; she really was cute. But her smile wasn't anything like Rin's beaming grin that rivaled the sunlight…

_Stop thinking about her!_

"Permit me to return the favor and hope you find a suitable mate yourself." Misei bowed to him before going down the hallway to meet her father before they left. Sesshoumaru continued into the library and began to do work. As noon began to approach, Touga appeared. The two inuyoukai went outside the castle wall before transforming and running to the castle in the clouds, neither seeing the pale pink eyes watching their every movement.

#~#~#

It was going to begin to get dark in another hour.

_What is wrong with that girl? Doesn't she ever leave her room? Isn't that unhealthy for humans?_

Misei pounded the branch supporting her in frustration, and it cracked. Squealing, she leapt onto a different one before she could fall to the ground.

"My patience wears thin, Misei," her father's voice came from the floor below her.

With an annoyed expression, she jumped out of the tree. "Chichi-ue, there is something about that slave of Sesshoumaru-sama's. I just know it. She eats her meals in the same room as him and the lord, and she waits on him all day. Haha-ue's friend told us her son despised humans, and yet his slave is never parted from him. Something isn't right about that."

"That may be, but we are on a tight schedule, as you are well aware," Katsutoshi looked down at her with a frown. "The ball is supposed to be held in two days, but for that to be possible you and I must be present. I came to escort you because I know how you delay yourself for matters such as these. We do not have time for them."

A pout formed on her painted lips. "But, Chichi-ue – "

She stopped suddenly and raised her head to scent the air. "She's coming," Misei announced, leaping through the gardens. _Finally, that human has emerged outside!_

#~#~#

"Well, if it isn't my dear husband."

Touga fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"What are you doing here? You and I both know that Sesshoumaru can travel without an escort," his wife said, standing tall before him to show her refusal to bend to his will. "Just because he is stressed that does not make him incompetent."

A searing pain shot through Sesshoumaru as realization hit him.

_Stress… she said that last time, too. Chichi-ue thought it was sickness, but Haha-ue knows me better so she could better recognize the problem. I'm just stressed_.

#~#~#

Rin had spent the day in her room, as she was supposed to.

_It's so boring… I don't know how Kagome-nee-san and Kikyo-nee-san manage it_.

A sigh escaped her lips as her shoulders heaved.

_Kikyo-nee-san… She was injured a while ago, when Sesshoumaru-sama saved my life. I haven't heard anything of her since, as Sesshoumaru-sama doesn't want me to have any contact with her or Kagome-nee-san. I hope she's all right. Maybe when Sesshoumaru-sama comes to me tonight I'll ask him if I can go see them. Just to make sure Kikyo-nee-san is well_.

She looked out the window and saw how low the sun was getting.

_It will get dark soon. I want to go outside. Sesshoumaru-sama usually lets me go for a walk in the evenings, so no one will notice anything odd if they see I'm out of my room and not with him_.

#~#~#

Inuyasha didn't respond to the knock on the door, and after a moment it slid open and Kagome entered his sleeping chamber. Seeing him sprawled on his side on the floor reading, she hesitated to speak.

"Ano… Inuyasha-sama?"

"Nani?"

"Ano…"

"Hurry up and speak. I've told you before I don't like listening to people stutter."

"Well, I just wanted to ask you something."

"What is it you want?"

"Ah… will you… will you come for a walk in the gardens with me?"

Inuyasha scowled at the book in his hands before throwing it to the ground and standing up.

"Fine. But I don't want to be long."

#~#~#

"Can't you tell the difference between stress and sickness?" Touga demanded.

"Can't you?" she returned, looking coldly amused. "Don't you even know your own son that well? I'm disappointed in you. I would have preferred the father of _my_ child to be more than an ignorant blockhead."

"Sesshoumaru has nothing to be stressed about! The lands are doing well, and he is more than ahead in regard to his work. Stress is just not an option!"

"And you think sickness is? You think my son is plagued by an ailment? You have a lot less knowledge than you give yourself credit for."

"Know your place, bitch!"

"I am not afraid of you, Touga-_sama_. But then, you know that all too well, don't you?"

"Chichi-ue," Sesshoumaru finally spoke, interrupting his parents' battle. They both looked at him in surprise. "We have what we came here for; let's return home. I want to ensure Katsutoshi has left." _I don't want Rin in the same palace with someone with that kind of power unless I'm there to protect her_.

Touga nodded uncertainly. "I suppose you're right. But I still want to know what it is that ails you."

"It is as Haha-ue said. I have been stressed."

"I don't believe that."

_You know less of me than either of us realize, Chichi-ue_.

#~#~#

Rin hummed silently to herself as she walked through the bushes in the gardens. There was a gentle breeze that lifted her hair every so often, and it was very pleasant.

_I wonder what Sesshoumaru-sama is doing. Probably work. Or maybe he's training with Inuyasha-sama_, a frown worked its way onto her face. _I hope not. I don't want him to get hurt again. His injuries keep getting worse the more they fight_.

She could hear leaves rustling behind her, but thought nothing of it.

_I wonder how many different kinds of flowers there are in the gardens_.

Congratulating herself on finally having a train of thought that did not include Sesshoumaru, she jumped in shock when a figure overshadowed her, blocking out the sun's warmth.

#~#~#

Kagome sighed happily as she walked down the slightly worn path half a step behind Inuyasha. Seeing the soft expression on his face, she dared to jump up beside him and hug his arm, her fingers meshing with his. She was pleasantly surprised when he squeezed her hand in return.

_He really likes me! Youkatta; I like him more than anyone else_.

"Ne, Inuyasha-sama?"

"What is it, Kikyo?"

She stopped walking in shock, her hand sliding out of his. He turned around and seemed to realize his mistake.

"I mean, Kagome."

Kagome dipped her head so as not to let him see her tears even though she knew he could probably smell them.

_No matter how much time he spends with me, he's still thinking of her! I'm just Kikyo's replacement, and I always will be. He only began to make use of me in the first place because Kikyo got hurt. Even Rei says he doesn't use her anymore. Why won't he see me for _me?

"You like Kikyo, don't you?" she asked in a muted voice.

"Yeah," he seemed flustered by the situation.

"I mean, you like her most."

A serious glint entered his amber eyes. "Yeah, I do."

#~#~#

They ran in silence. A few miles from home, Sesshoumaru came to a stop and stared into the sky while taking a deep breath.

_The air… there's no trace of Rin's scent. I'm so used to smelling it near me_.

"Sesshoumaru," his father also stopped and looked back at him, his tail flicking. "Do you need to rest?"

"Iie. I told you, Chichi-ue, I'm not sick."

"What else could it be? You have nothing to be stressed about, as your mother said."

Sesshoumaru brought his paws together and sank his claws into the ground. "Sonna."

"Then what?" Touga walked up to him and looked down from his greater height. "Talk to me, Sesshoumaru. It has been centuries since you came to me with your feelings."

"Feelings are worthless."

There was a bright yellow light as the older daiyoukai reverted to human form. "Sonna koto nai yo."

Sesshoumaru also transformed.

"They only cause you trouble; there is no point in having them."

"Sesshoumaru, where is this coming from? Feelings are important, especially to daiyoukai. They give us the drive to accomplish goals, and our strength and power gives us the means. If you have no feelings, you have no ambitions. Is that true for you? What are your ambitions?"

"To be the strongest daiyoukai. I walk the path of supreme conquest."

"What, then? When you become the strongest, what will you do? What will you live for?"

"I – "

Touga was shocked; his son's scent was made up entirely of confusion and sickness. He honestly had no idea how to answer.

#~#~#

"Anata no namae wa Rin, ne?" Misei asked, a strange look on her cute face. It seemed to be a mixture of determination and disgust.

Rin nodded uncertainly.

"How old are you?"

She held up her ten fingers then another four, hesitating with her thumb.

"You'll be fifteen soon?"

She nodded.

"I see," Misei began circling her, as though she were a vulture rather than an inu. "Then, you should have no trouble finding a mate… or whatever you humans have… when Sesshoumaru sends you away."

Rin gasped in shock and horror.

"Oh, he didn't tell you?" the inuyoukai smiled sweetly. "Well, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it is inappropriate for a man to keep his concubine after he has a mate. I'm afraid you'll just have to leave."

_So it's true… Sesshoumaru-sama _is_ going to take a mate… and I'll have to leave him_. Tears filled her eyes._ Iya… I… don't want that… I want… I want to stay with him forever!_

"Rin," Misei's smile turned smug. "You're not mute, are you?"

#~#~#

"Why did you come to me if you like her best?" Kagome cried. "Why couldn't you just have left me alone?"

Inuyasha hesitated before taking a step toward her. "You look like her," he said simply. "You even sound like her. And… ever since she's been hurt… I haven't been able to talk to her… or even look into her eyes because they're closed all the time while she lies unconscious. I… miss her, Kagome. And when I'm with you… it's like I'm with her… so I'm happy."

A part of her swelled with joy to hear him say he was happy with her, but another part – a greater part – fell to pieces. He didn't love her. She was just a substitute for the one who held his heart.

"Inuyasha," she said in a low voice, dropping the honorific. "I hate you."

He froze as if he had been shot.

"I really hate you!" she screamed. "I would have loved you more than anyone else, but you never even cared three straws about me, did you? You only wanted me to be Kikyo! Well, you can have her! If she wakes up!"

Kagome turned and ran away, blinded by tears.

"Oi, Kagome!" Inuyasha called after her, beginning to follow. "Matte yo!"

#~#~#

"I will find a new goal."

"So it's that simple? For you to keep working toward something, that is your life? You don't ever just relax and enjoy what you have made for yourself?"

"How can I just _enjoy_ being the strongest?" Sesshoumaru shot back. But, being honest with himself, he wasn't sure if that was truly what he wanted anymore.

"As the leader of the west, I take my time to fully enjoy being as strong as I am, because Izayoi can enjoy it with me knowing that I can protect her from any danger. Why do you want to become the strongest?"

"Because – " Kuso, why was his father pinning him to the spot now?

"Who are you doing it for?"

"Boku." Rin's face appeared in front of his eyes. _I'm not doing it for her. This has been my goal all my life. But… to push her out of my life would be impossible. Why is that? What purpose does she serve? What _use_ is she to me?_

"Chichi-ue."

"Hai?"

Sesshoumaru faced the dipping sun. "Return home without me. I wish to stay away for a while and think. I will be back before morning."

Touga stepped forward and placed his hand on his son's shoulder. "If that's what you want, then that's fine. I'll be waiting."

#~#~#

Misei looked extremely pleased with herself. "I just think that… it must be so awkward for Sesshoumaru to have a mute slave waiting on him. What if there was a problem you had to tell him about? Oh, you fooled me, for a while. Having the whole palace in on your little secret was helpful, but you can't hide something like that from a daiyoukai like me."

Rin took a step backwards. She was scared. Misei was frightening her, and she didn't know where Sesshoumaru-sama was. Although… if Misei was going to be his mate, would he save her? Wouldn't it be easier to let her die and save himself the trouble of sending her away?

"Come on, you're discovered," the inuyoukai advanced angrily. "Speak!"

Trembling, the human shook her head violently.

"Insolent brat!" She raised her glowing hand.

#~#~#

Sesshoumaru sat on the silent cliff, his thoughts surrounding him. The sound of birds flying into the sky in the direction of the palace shattered the tranquility, and instinct kicked him.

_Something's not right_.

#~#~#

Misei was on the verge her _henshin_.

Rin held Kagome's hand tightly. She had appeared just when the inuyoukai was about to slap her, and Inuyasha had stopped it. But… he still wasn't strong enough to take on a full-blooded youkai.

"Would you _speak!_" Misei screamed. "I know you can!"

She leaped towards the girls, and they gasped in fear. Suddenly, the youkai stopped with a cry of pain. In a heartbeat Rin was caught up in a pair of warm and strong arms. A grin lit up her face when she realized what had happened.

_Sesshoumaru-sama! He came for me! He saved me!_

"Misei," he glared at his would-be suitor. "Get out of these grounds before I rip you to shreds."

Misei had tears of pain in her pink eyes. Sesshoumaru had drawn his poison whip right across her backside, and she wasn't immune to his level of poison. It hurt worse than anything she could imagine. Realizing she was defeated at least for now, she backed away and ran to her father to leave.

Ignoring his younger brother, Sesshoumaru went into the castle with Rin still in his arms. In her room he set her down on the futon and sat beside her.

"Daijobu desu ka?"

Rin nodded, not looking at him. He got up and moved to go to his own sleeping chamber.

"Y- yurushite," she said quietly.

He stopped.

"When I was with Misei-sama… she said you were… going to take a mate… and I wasn't sure if… you would come… to save me."

He didn't move.

"For doubting you, I am sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama."

She turned away from him and hugged her knees tightly. He smelt her tears, but she was making no noise to indicate she was crying.

"Rin," going to sit behind her, he put his hand on her arms gently. "I wasn't at the palace, and she took my absence as an opportunity to attack you because you are close to me. It is I who should be apologizing for not ensuring she left before I did. My carelessness could have cost your life."

Rin gasped, sitting up straight. He… he wasn't actually… going to say it, was he?

"Rin, gomenasai."

Her eyes filled with tears again. Something she hadn't even heard him say to his _father_ he had said to her. Something even more wonderful; he had apologized to his _slave_ when he could have easily given away all the blame and punished her when she said she was at fault.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," she laid her hand on his, still holding her upper arms. "I know I have no right to ask, but could I sleep in your room tonight? Kudasai."

Sesshoumaru was surprised at her forwardness. "Why do you want such a thing?"

"I just – I love your room, Sesshoumaru-sama. It's so big, and I like the way you can have the balcony door open when it's warm."

As he listened to her voice he realized she was no longer pausing for breath in the middle of her sentences. She was getting better. Something inside him smiled, but he couldn't really permit her such a huge thing, could he? It was fine if he wanted to use her on his bed, but she obviously didn't expect him to tonight.

"Just this once. And don't ask for such things again."

Rin smiled brightly and turned her head around to look him in the eyes. "Hai!"

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

youkatta – I'm glad

gomenasai – I'm sorry

nani – what?

ne – hey/say etc

sonna (koto nai yo) – "it's not like that"/"that's not true" etc.

anata no namae wa Rin, ne? – "your name is Rin, isn't it?"

iya – no

matte yo – wait

boku – "myself"

henshin – transformation/change

daijobu desu ka – "are you alright?"

yurushite – "forgive me"

kudasai – please

Do you realize how many reviews have been added to this story? 93!!!!! That's like, $$$$$!!!(cash register sound effects) Only seven more to reach the big 100 mark! That's never happened before to any of my stories! *leaps for joy* Keep 'em coming, onegai!!!! Ja xxx


	8. Resistance

Sorry for such a late update, guys. I've had major depression this week and I can't write in that mood. But anyway, here's the next chapter.

**Anonymous Critic: **I know that it was very formal for him to be saying to his slave, but it's just that Sesshoumaru is a formal person which is why he used the formal phrase. And Rin didn't say "onegaishimasu" because she is close to him and doesn't see him as her master. Okay? Okay… (btw, I don't see your review as flaming. I like constructive criticism; I just had my reasons for making them say that)

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

The servants in the mountaintop castle felt like they were heroically enduring torture.

"Itai…" Misei whined, standing awkwardly with her hands holding her butt as if they were keeping it from falling apart. Her face was pulled into a grimace. "Watashi no shippou…"

Hazumi, her maid, rolled her eyes as she hung up the clean _uchikake_ in her arms.

"Did you take the medication for the poison, Misei-sama?"

"Of course," the daiyoukai snapped. "I am not completely incompetent, nor brainless. Arg…" With a wild noise in her throat she turned to stare up at the sky. _Stupid human, costing me the chance to become the lady of the west. Not only would I have got out of this castle, I would have been able to rule!_ She scowled fiercely. _And Sesshoumaru had looks going. Our children would have been beautiful as well as unmatched in power_.

She sighed. _If he hadn't had to pull me off her that night, I probably would have had a chance to make him believe I really was a decent kind of inu. Too bad_…

"Misei-sama, the ball is starting. You must go to your father now."

Rubbing her tender backside, she scowled at the moon again. "Kuso, I will have revenge on you, ningen no baka!"

#~#~#

There was a desperate knock at the door that evening. Assuming it to be Rika, Rin got up, slid the shoji open and smiled. She was shocked to see Kagome standing there in tears.

"Gomen, Rin-chan, datte… can I come in just for a minute?" Kagome asked.

Rin nodded and allowed her to enter the room, ignoring the voice in her head that said she was disobeying Sesshoumaru's orders. But Kagome was obviously distressed and she needed help, so it would be okay, wouldn't it? Sesshoumaru-sama would understand, wouldn't he?

"Rin-chan," the older girl said, sitting on the bed and sniffling. "Inuyasha-sama… he's going to send me back to Iwao!"

Rin gasped. _Iie… he can't do that!_

"He decided it the other night, after Misei attacked you," she sniffed again. "It was my fault, I suppose. You see, he never really used me before Kikyou's accident. Then he came to me all the time because I remind him of her. He told me that night." She broke down in tears again. "I said I hated him."

The younger girl put an arm around her and rubbed her back soothingly.

"I've never told such a huge lie in my life. Of course I don't hate him! But… at that time… I was just so angry. And now Kikyou has woken up!"

The shoji slid open quickly and Sesshoumaru appeared. "Rin, take – "

His eyes narrowed when he saw the two girls.

Rin hurriedly pushed Kagome out of the room, shutting the door, and turned to bow in apology. "Gomenasai, Sesshoumaru-sama, but she was upset. I couldn't send her away."

Sesshoumaru vanished into his room. A feeling in Rin's chest wilted.

_He's mad at me. I shouldn't have disobeyed him, but… to turn her away when she was in such a state_.

The daiyoukai returned, frowning. In his hand was the leather whip.

"Remove your clothes."

She gasped in shock and didn't move, openly staring at him wide-eyed.

His eyebrow quirked. "Do you refuse to obey me?"

She violently shook her head and ripped her clothes off herself before falling to her hands and knees. Tears filled her eyes, and she squeezed them shut in attempt to stop.

"Yu – yurushite, Sesshoumaru-sama," she said softly, almost as if not meaning for him to hear. She stiffened, waiting for the strike.

Something hit her back, and the tail of the whip slithered off her. It felt like… like she had accidentally backed into something.

Sesshoumaru stared at her tense frame in shock. What… what made him hold back? It was as if he had completely lost the will to administer discipline. Just… the very consideration of harming her was unthinkable. She looked at him with large and surprised eyes, and he finally blinked.

"Don't do it again," he said as a cover.

Rin nodded violently and pulled herself up to her knees, looking at him curiously. The only thing running through his head was the thought of how tempting her lips were. Unable to stop himself, he bent down and kissed her.

#~#~#

Rin woke the next morning to the shifting of unfamiliar-feeling covers. Groggily opening her eyes, it took a moment for her to realize the sun had not yet risen. She sat up and wiped sleep from her eyes as a cold breeze drifted over her. Shivering, she saw by the faint light that she was in Sesshoumaru's futon.

_That's right… after he didn't whip me last night he brought me in here to make use of me_.

Vaguely seeing his figure on the balcony staring at the early dawn, she stood and hesitantly stepped out the open doors after him. There was a cold wind, and she hugged herself for warmth as she stared at his back.

After a moment Sesshoumaru turned to glance at her. "Ningen no baka," he said.

Rin felt a stabbing pain at her heart, and her head dropped to stare at the ground. To her immense surprise, she felt silk around her shoulders and immediately looked up to see him place his haori around her to protect her from the wind, leaving his own chest bare.

"Don't come outside wearing nothing," he reprimanded, going back to the bars again and staring at the approaching dawn.

She could only stare at him. Not only had he not sent her back inside, he had considerately given her a cover from the wind _and_ given her a warning for the future so she wouldn't get sick.

"Gomenasai, Sesshoumaru-sama," she said cheerfully, stepping up beside him. He said nothing for a long time.

When the sun was beginning to peek over the tops of the mountains, he said, "Have you ever seen the sun rise before?"

"Iie, Sesshoumaru-sama."

He straightened his back and turned to face her. "It isn't a very good view from here. It looks much better from the roof."

In an instant she was in his arms and flying through the cold air upwards. In a panic she threw her arms around his neck and held tightly, savoring the close contact and resting her head on his shoulder. She felt so comfortable being held by him, and she was disappointed when he landed on the roof of the tallest tower. However, although he set her down he kept his arms around her to protect her from falling.

The sky was filled with orange light as the tip of the sun was visible. Rin settled herself in Sesshoumaru's embrace as she stared at it with amazement, her hands resting on the folds on his hakama.

"Kirei," she breathed softly, filled with awe at the sight of something so beautiful.

He grunted in agreement, although the beauty filling his thoughts was not that of the sunrise.

"Rin," he said. "Chichi-ue is sending me to patrol the lands today."

She turned her head to look up at him. "I don't understand."

"I have to walk along the western border and ensure there is no threat nearby."

Her heart sank when she realized she would be separated from him again.

"How long will you be?"

"Two weeks at most."

She felt her insides freeze in an instant.

_Two weeks? How can I survive two long, awful weeks without him?_

Leaning her head on his shoulder, she quietly said, "I will… miss you, Sesshoumaru-sama."

Something in his chest warmed pleasantly at that. Rin shifted in his arms so she was lying across his lap, resting her head on his shoulder. Sesshoumaru pulled her closer against himself, taking in her scent, and found that he was perfectly content. He never wanted to move from this rooftop with her.

#~#~#

"Rin-chan!" Kagome cried, getting up to invite her into the room. It was smaller than Rin's, but quite cozy-looking.

Rin smiled and entered, sitting down on the futon.

"I'm sorry for coming to you last week. I hope I didn't get you in trouble?"

She shook her head, not seeing the point in worrying her. Anyway, everything had worked out.

"Good," the older girl crossed her legs. "I have good news, Rin-chan! I accidentally overheard Inuyasha-sama talking with his father, and he might not send me back to Iwao after all!" Her smile dimmed and she frowned. "It'll either be me or Kikyou." She smiled again. "But that means he must like me a little, right?"

Rin nodded encouragingly, glad for her friend.

"Anyway, doesn't Sesshoumaru-sama allow you to talk to me or something?"

She shook her head again.

"But you're here now that he's patrolling," Kagome shook her head. "Good for you, Rin-chan."

Rin smiled, not speaking. Sesshoumaru had said she could do what she wanted while he was gone. He had given her permission to see Kagome and Kikyou during the first week he was away, but not after so their scents wouldn't remain on her. She wasn't disobeying Sesshoumaru, but she couldn't let Kagome know that without speaking – and she didn't want the whole palace to know she wasn't mute because she wasn't sure what would happen. It might put Sesshoumaru in an uncomfortable position, too, because everyone knew he liked silent slaves. Although… why did he not send her away when she first began to speak? Why had he not disposed of her when she no longer fitted his ideal?

#~#~#

Sesshoumaru sat resting against a tree trunk, one leg outstretched and one arm resting on the other. His eyes were closed and the wind tugged at his loose robes lightly. But however relaxed he appeared was entirely misleading. His mind was in turmoil.

This patrol had been the longest two weeks of his life. Now he was nearly back at the western castle – back with _Rin_. She was all he thought about. She plagued his every thought, every fantasy, every dream… Her face never left him, and he had an oddly warm feeling in his chest every time he thought of holding her close to him.

_I love her. I really, truly love her_.

A white bird flitted out of the trees, calling for its mate.

_But she's just a human. She's my concubine, my slave. She'll age quickly. She'll live another fifty years, if she's lucky, and then die – a _fraction_ of my life_.

His chest tightened at the thought of losing her.

_There's nothing I can do about that. Life does not have happy endings, and no one has a perfect existence. Getting close to her… closer than I am… will only result in disaster_.

The bird's mate flew towards it, singing loudly, and they both flew off.

_It's better this way_, Sesshoumaru thought as he watched the scene. _She's only a slave to me; to make her my mate would enrage several people. Anyway, I need to have a full-blooded heir instead of a half-breed_.

Although, being honest with himself, the thought of _Rin_ holding a tiny hanyou in her arms and singing to him or her was not an unpleasant picture. It gave him a longing to see it realized, and again he was reminded that he missed her terribly during the patrol.

_There's nothing I can do_, he told himself again. _It would be better to distance myself from her; being near her is too hard. But… I have to see her soon_… _I just _can't _push her out of my life._

Standing up, he continued on his circuit. He would be finished by morning, if he was lucky, and then he would be with Rin again. The thought made him walk faster, and he became less aware of his surroundings.

#~#~#

"Sesshoumaru? Are you alright?" Touga asked, concern lacing his voice.

"I'm fine, Chichi-ue. It's just a scratch."

"What concerns me is that it smells like it was from a lesser youkai. How one could have made a mark on _you_, of all people, is worrying."

"I wasn't paying attention," Sesshoumaru explained impatiently, anxious to get to his room. "I deserved the wound."

"You smell sicker than usual. You should bathe; it might help."

"Hai, Chichi-ue." Quickly walking through the corridors he arrived at his rooms and went straight into Rin's chamber.

She was still sleeping, looking like an angel with her dark hair splayed out behind her. Unable and unwilling to do anything else, he knelt beside her and leaned down to press a gentle kiss on her soft cheek. She smelled even more wonderful than he remembered.

Pulling away slightly, he saw her smile in her sleep as she moved her hand up to her cheek.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," she murmured, turning towards him. Her other hand found his and closed around it.

Sesshoumaru couldn't help but smile down at her. Even when she was asleep, she still thought of him. He was her master in everything.

He lay down beside her, pulled her against him, and kissed her face and jaw repeatedly, eventually working down her neck and along the edge of her sleeping kimono. He did not care that she might wake up – if fact, he probably would have enjoyed it more if she had.

When he heard Rika in the hallway outside he knew he had to leave. Pressing one last, soft kiss to Rin's forehead, he stood and went back into his own room.

"Rin-chan, wake up," Rika said. Rin opened her eyes sleepily, rubbing them as she sat up. She pouted at the youkai, as she had just had a wonderful dream about Sesshoumaru-sama. She missed him so much, and wished he would come back.

"Rin-chan, Sesshoumaru-sama has returned," the servant said, pulling out a fresh kimono.

Rin's face instantly lit up with joy, and she nearly cried out with relief.

_Finally… I'm so glad I can see him again!_

"You're happy?" Rika questioned, surprised.

She nodded enthusiastically.

"I'm surprised. I know _I _would hate to be his slave. But I suppose it's good that you're happy with your master. It would be truly awful to be the slave of someone horrible. I must go, Rin-chan; I have to do my duties. Unless Sesshoumaru-sama sends for you then you should just stay here."

Rin nodded, ecstatic with the thought that Sesshoumaru would most likely come to her that night after being away for such a long time. She got dressed quickly and then collapsed back o her futon, still smiling. After a few minutes a servant came to fetch her.

"Sesshoumaru-sama requests that you come to his personal wash rooms."

Rin nodded and did as she said, knocking the wash room door and entering on Sesshoumaru's command. It felt so good to hear his voice again.

The wash room was steamy, making it difficult to see very clearly, but she made her way into it and saw his unclothed form sitting in the hot water.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," she beamed at him as she sat next to him.

Sesshoumaru looked at her with a blank expression, but there was some emotion in his golden eyes. "Rin."

"I'm… glad you're back, my lord. I missed you." She caught sight of the red on his arm. "My lord, you're hurt!"

He glanced briefly at the cut. "It's nothing. It will be gone by morning."

"Will you not let me bandage it?"

He really shouldn't. It was pointless; only an excuse for her to touch him. "Suki ni shiro."

She got up and went to the end of the room to get a cloth and a bucket of water so as not to dirty his bath water. Sesshoumaru watched her every movement, and was instantly angered when Inuyasha entered, distracting him.

"So, you're back," the hanyou said, staring down at his older brother.

"As you see."

"Nothing exciting happened?"

"If it had, you would be the last person I would tell. Now get out."

Rin passed him and he caught her arm, spinning her round to him. "Hey… she's not bad. I thought she looked a bit puny when she first came here but she really looks a lot healthier now."

Rin began trembling as Inuyasha pulled her closer to smell her.

"Inuyasha, let her go," Sesshoumaru ordered, becoming angrier. _How dare he smell someone he knows is mine?_

"I dunno… she smells kinda nice. I know you never get attached to your slaves, so when you're done with her why don't you give her to me?" He grabbed her by her hair and forced her to look up at him. It reminded her of the time back at the slave dealer's shop when he had picked her, but now all she could think of was how close his mouth was to hers. She was shaking with fear, but she daren't pull away because Inuyasha was her superior and had every right to punish her if she did so against his will.

_Sesshoumaru-sama… tasukete_.

"Inuyasha…" Sesshoumaru's voice was filled with fury.

Rin gulped as Inuyasha's face got closer and closer to hers.

_I'm about to be kissed by someone other than Sesshoumaru-sama! I… don't want that!_

Sesshoumaru suddenly realized he was using the wrong tactics. Inuyasha didn't have to obey him because they were both sons of the lord of the west, so ordering him was doing nothing to help. Rin, on the other hand, had to obey both of them because she was a mere slave, which was why she couldn't pull away.

"Rin, come here."

Relief flooded her as she pushed the hanyou away from her and half-ran to Sesshoumaru, slipping on the wet floor.

Inuyasha scowled and stomped out, slamming the door shut.

"Rin, get undressed. Put your clothes somewhere where they won't get wet."

She did as he ordered and went to sit on the edge of the bath with her feet dangling in the water. She took his arm and gently cleaned the cut on it, taking care not to let any blood fall into the bath water, and wrapped it in a clean cloth.

Sesshoumaru slid his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. "Are you alright?"

Rin nodded, concentrating on her task. "Arigatou," she murmured.

Traces of Inuyasha's scent remained on her, and he was tempted to hold her close to blot it out with his own scent. Instead, he took the logical option that he had been planning for a while. "Rin, you won't have to wait on me anymore."

Her head jerked up to look at him, horror evident on her face. "But why? Don't I do a good enough job? Do I need to do better?"

Her expression tore at his heart. He wanted nothing less than to take it back.

"Iie, it's nothing to do with the job you're doing. This is my decision."

Her eyes lowered and he smelled salt water coming from her. Tilting her head up gently with one finger, he saw that her cheeks were still dry as she refused to let her tears fall.

"It's for the best," he said softly. Rin jumped into the water with him and threw her arms around him, embracing him tightly, not caring that she was grossly out of turn.

Sesshoumaru felt awful. It was what both of them wanted but… as the heir to the western lands it was impossible for him to mate with a ningen. Especially a _slave_ – he could not pick someone lower.

Even so… it cut into him deeply.

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

itai – ow

watashi no shippou – my tail

ningen no baka – stupid human

gomen – sorry

datte – but

yurushite – forgive me

kirei – beautiful

suki ni shiro – do what you want

tasukete – help

Heh, it'll never last. You'll see. Please review! I was amazed at the amount of reviews I got for the last chapter, and I'm so glad I'm way over 100! This is exciting! I'll try and update soon!

Oh, and something else. The Inuyasha bit… he was just doing that to annoy Sesshoumaru. There is nothing between him and Rin, okay? Sorry if he's your favorite character, but he's the only one who would've done something like that to Sesshoumaru…


	9. Yield

Hi, guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been off school this week, so that puts me in the mood for writing. And here's the chapter!

**IMPORTANT!** This is just in case you don't know what the position of the obi knot means. Prostitutes and concubines would tie their obi at the front for easy access, but any other woman's obi would be tied at the back.

**Shark on Land**: Inuyasha's father is in love with Izayoi, but he can't make her his mate because Sesshoumaru's mother is still alive (life mates, that sort of thing). That doesn't stop him treating her as though she was his mate, but he can't do anything but that.

**Taraah36**: you'll find out about the sickness soon enough. There's a hint in this chapter, but all will be revealed in the next (or possibly the next – I haven't decided yet).

**Tomoyo**: personally, I don't really like Kagome _or_ Kikyo. Kagome whines all the time and Kikyo isn't entirely a good guy. But as far as Inuyasha's relationship goes, I say he should be with Kagome. Because, just so you fully understand this, KIKYO IS DEAD!

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

Sesshoumaru sat in the meeting, barely listening to the lord of the north attempting to form an alliance with his father. It had been nearly six weeks since Rin had stopped waiting on him, and he felt awful. When he was in his chambers during the day he could smell her crying in her room, and every part of him wanted to go and comfort her. But he knew he had a duty to perform to the western lands, so no matter how much he hated it he had to stay away from her as much as possible. He still made use of her – to completely isolate her was unfeasible – but not as much as before.

"Sesshoumaru."

He missed her so much, especially when he sat in his study working alone. She should have been beside him, ready to get anything he asked for. She should have been _with_ him.

"Sesshoumaru."

The overpowering desire to see her washed through him, and he gripped the _tsukue_ in front of him too tightly, barely noticing when it cracked loudly.

"Sesshoumaru…"

If he didn't see her soon…

"Sesshoumaru!"

His head snapped up, his brain finally registering that his father had been calling him. Three curious faces were staring at him, but he really wasn't in the mood for work at the moment.

With no explanation he got up and abruptly left the study. His mind was dominated by one thought, and that was to get to Rin as quickly as possible.

She looked up in surprise at the suddenness with which he entered her room, but willingly went with him as he grasped her wrist and half-dragged her into his sleeping chamber. He hungrily kissed her while untying her obi.

Three quarters of an hour later, when he was satisfied for the moment, he wrapped an exhausted Rin in his blankets and cuddled close to her. Later, he would regret this; but for now it was a time to savor the moment.

Rin lay as close to him as possible, almost deliriously happy. So sure that she was dreaming, she let a soft murmur escape her. "Sesshoumaru-sama, ai shiteru."

Sesshoumaru's first thought was joy – then his logical mind took action and he stiffened.

_She can't love me… this is bad. I don't want to hurt her, but… my duty is to the west. I have to stay distanced from her!_

In agony he gripped her now-sleeping body tighter. He could never remember feeling so bad. An unfamiliar sensation stung his eyes, and he opened them to see with blurred vision. Two droplets of water cascaded down his cheeks, and he could see clearly again.

_This is… what is feels like… to cry?_

He looked down at Rin, sleeping with a smile on her face and holding on to him tightly.

_Yes… she's the only one I could ever shed tears for. The only one who captivates me so completely. I… I love her_…

Leaning down to rest his head beside hers, he kissed her cheek gently before settling down to sleep.

#~#~#

The blind soul stealer sat in her hollow tree trunk, sipping some _cha_ that had been recently brewed.

"Enter, Misei-sama. Yes, do."

Misei lowered her hand, outstretched in preparation to knock, and entered the tiny home. "It's good to see you again, Ayane-Obaa-chan."

"Is it really? Yes?" Ayane asked, fetching a spare teacup and handing it to her guest before filling it.

"Of course."

"There is a darkness of greed and revenge in your soul this evening, yes there is. I'm sure you came here in the hope of getting something, yes."

"Ayane-Obaa-chan! I would never – ! I came to see you because we haven't spoken in decades! Did you not miss my company?"

"Hmm… true, yes that is."

There was a pause.

"Although," Misei said casually. "There _was_ something I thought I might ask your advice on."

Ayane let out a rich cackle of laughter. "I know you well, yes I do, Misei-sama. Come, tell me of your dilemma, yes do. I know what has happened but I wish to know how you feel, yes I do."

"Will you help me, then?"

"Have I not helped you before? Yes, yes I have. I will do whatever you need, yes I will."

#~#~#

Three weeks passed since Sesshoumaru's sudden need for her, and Rin was trying to figure out his feelings as she walked outside. She was _fairly_ sure that he wanted to be near her, but then why did he isolate himself from her so much? She didn't understand his reasons, and she thought that, although he cared for her, he liked his position as the prince of the west more than her. That hurt.

She bent down to pick flowers, planning to put them in her room. Seeing no one around her, she began humming and unconsciously it evolved into a quiet song.

Sesshoumaru was walking in the gardens when he heard the voice he loved more than anything. It was soft, but his senses could pick it up clearly.

"_Yama no naka, _

_Mori no naka, _

_Kaze no naka, _

_Yume no naka, _

_Sesshoumaru-sama, doko ni iru?_"

He couldn't help it; he wanted her so badly. In the last months it was the knowledge that she was unhappy, and not just the separation, that made him ache with emotional distress.

"_Watashi wa hitori de machimashou,_

_Sesshoumaru-sama, omodori wo_."

Sesshoumaru was about to make his presence known when she stood up and turned around, ending up facing him. When she saw him she froze and instantly dropped her gaze, bowing her head too late to hide the furious blush spread across her cheeks.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," she murmured faintly.

"Come," he said, walking toward the castle. He led her to his room and then indicated the door to hers. "Do what you want with those flowers quickly."

She entered her room and added the fresh flowers to a vase already there. She would have given them to him, but she didn't want to insult him with needless offerings.

When she turned around to return to him she bumped into his chest, not seeing that he had followed her. She gasped and stepped backward only to be pulled closer to him and into his room.

Sesshoumaru placed both hands on her cheeks and tilted her head up to his, leaning down to kiss her. As his tongue explored the inside of her mouth he felt her hands slide up him and lock around his neck. He moved his arms to encircle her in his tight embrace.

_How have I gone for so long without this? Without _her?

His hands moved down to her obi, and he mentally cursed when he found it and reality forced him to remember that it was tied at the front rather than the back.

_That_ particular thought caused him to suddenly break away from her and even take a step backward, created a gap between them.

Rin looked curiously at him, silently asking what was wrong.

"It's nothing," he said slowly, staring into her brown eyes before turning away and walking toward the door. "There is something I have to do tonight. You can sleep in here, if you wish, or in your own room."

Exiting the room he closed the _shoji_ and walked quickly through the castle to his father's sleeping chamber. Coming from inside was the strong smell of arousal belonging to Touga and Izayoi, and he felt a pang of guilt at interrupting them. But this was important – not some trivial letter or phobia that could wait.

His father opened the door looking irritated. Sesshoumaru immediately bowed his head in submission.

"Sumimasen, Chichi-ue, but I must speak to you."

"Is it about the lands? Can it wait until morning?"

"Iie."

Touga rubbed his temples. "I'll be in my study in a moment."

"Arigatou, Chichi-ue."

Waiting in his father's he tried to make sense of his scattered thoughts, but with little success. The western lord arrived in a boisterous way, and sat down with none of the usual grace he showed during the day. Sesshoumaru suspected he was slightly drunk, if nothing else.

"Now what is the matter? Because if you smelled of sickness before, now you smell like death."

_Yes. Definitely drunk_.

"Firstly, Chichi-ue, I must apologize to you for how I have acted concerning your treatment of my mother and… Izayoi." He wasn't actually sure if he had ever said the wench's name before. "I… have fallen in love with Rin," he said quietly.

His father was silent – apparently the _sake_ was not as impairing as he first thought.

"I know this is hypocritical of me, but I truly had no intention of it and did my best to stop my growing attachment."

Touga spoke. "It isn't hypocritical of you, Sesshoumaru," he said in a soft tone. "People change. And… I am _glad _that you have found someone you can love."

"But a human..?"

"For her to be human or not matters nothing."

"A slave?"

"If you truly loved her, such a thing wouldn't matter."

"It doesn't to _me_, but I am asking how _you_ feel about it."

"Yes, there are complications; too many complications to be ignored," Touga said pensively. "It is not the same case as was mine; I already _had_ a full-blood heir when I had to decide. Of course it cost part of the lands when other daiyoukai heard of it, but nothing I wasn't prepared to give." He paused. "Although it is good for you to be with one you love, sometimes it is just not possible. There is no such thing as 'happily ever after' in this world and, as the prince of the west, you must put your lands before yourself. Obviously the best thing for the lands would be for you to give her up – but I know how hard that is to do."

"It is impossible."

"Nothing is impossible, Sesshoumaru. It may feel it, but that is just a weakness telling you to admit defeat."

"You think sending Rin away would make me stronger?" Never had the idea of strength sounded so distasteful.

"If that is what you decide, it would indeed make you stronger to stick by that decision. But you would also be miserable without her."

_Yes, I have been miserable these last months being only separated at times. I need her with me at _all_ times. Then I can be happy. But… as a ruler I have no choice but to care for my lands above myself_.

"When did you come to the conclusion that you wanted her to be your mate?"

Sesshoumaru spoke slowly and carefully, not making eye contact with his father. "Just now – when I was with her. I was about to untie her obi when I remembered that it was positioned at the front. It was just the awkward position, but then I… realized that I _want_ it to be at the back, like a noblewoman. I want nothing connecting her with the low life of a whore. She is too far above anything like that…"

"Sesshoumaru, I really am glad that you have found someone you can love, but consider the lands. By doing this you are effectively cutting off our bloodline. The lands would go to another daimyo – perhaps even Katsutoshi or Misei and her mate – once you and I are dead. We both know that a hanyou or even two working together could not hold their own against a full-powered daiyoukai like Katsutoshi."

He nodded. "That is true."

"And when you become the lord of the west all will try and overpower you because of your choice. Very few bothered to attack me when Inuyasha was born because I had first sired you. But they will come for you, whose firstborn was a hanyou, perhaps all at once. Even I am not strong enough to defend against such an attack, and although you will surpass me one day that day has yet to come. The lands will just not survive, and you and perhaps her and her child would die in their fall."

Sesshoumaru considered those words and they were quiet for a moment, each lost in thought.

"Do you know what you are going to do?"

Sesshoumaru deliberated carefully. "I _do_ want to take her as my mate. More than anything."

"But?"

"But the lands. That is the only thing stopping me."

Touga sighed. "Think about it carefully, Sesshoumaru. By telling you this I do not wish to dissuade you from mating her; I only wish you to be aware of the consequences. This matter is not to be taken lightly. The fate of the west lies in your hands."

The younger taiyoukai nodded. "I know, Chichi-ue. Thank you for your time." He got up and walked slowly back to his room. Rin was asleep on his futon, holding a large bundle of covers in her hands. He smiled at her peaceful face and knelt down to gently kiss her forehead before going and sitting on the balcony.

When Rin woke up at sunrise she sat up sleepily and looked around. On seeing Sesshoumaru outside she cautiously opened the balcony door, wary of rebuke.

He was sitting cross-legged, facing the gardens, and when she went to look at the front of him she saw his eyes were closed. She couldn't help but stare at him.

"If you wish to say something then speak."

She jumped at his voice. "Iie, it's nothing," she stammered, moving back slightly.

He opened his eyes and looked at her. As usual they were devoid of expression, but something seemed… intensified… in his gaze.

"What are you thinking of?" she asked to break the heavy atmosphere.

"I have an important decision to make."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"No." A sharp pain gripped his insides when she rose to leave. "Yes," he said, grasping her hand.

She jumped at the sudden contact, but stopped.

"Stay with me." He pulled her down to a sitting position and placed her between his legs so she was leaning on his chest. Holding her hair away, he planted a small kiss on her neck – where he would make the mark – and took in her scent.

Yes, he would make her his mate. There was never any decision to make. It was decided for him when she first became his slave. It was impossible for him to do anything else.

But… the lands. To have a hanyou ruling was impossible; he would be a danger to everyone because of his lack of strength. And although Sesshoumaru would give his life to protect Rin against attacking daiyoukai… if hers was lost also then it would be worthless. He absolutely could not let that happen. She had to live – but if he died then who would protect her?

The pain he had felt only moments ago returned, along with a burning on the small of his back. He did everything he could not to grimace, and Rin noticed nothing as she was not facing him.

#~#~#

Rika had a strange look on her face when she entered Rin's sleeping room that morning carrying a colorful and elaborate kimono and uchikake.

"Rin-chan, Sesshoumaru-sama says you are to wear this today. I'm to stay and help you put it on."

Rin gasped when she saw the kimono. It had _eight_ layers! Eight! She had never even worn three!

Touching the material, she instantly realized that it did not have the crisp feel of new silk. It was very old… how much could it have cost? How much would it be worth now?

"Yes, it _is_ old," Rika said, seeing her expression. "As old as Sesshoumaru-sama himself. His mother had it made to wear just after he was born."

Rin's legs gave out, and she fell on the floor. She was supposed to wear… a kimono belonging to… his _mother?_

_But I'm just a slave! How can he expect me to wear something like this? Something so important and valuable!_

It took Rika a full half hour to dress her, mostly because she was uncomfortable with wearing such expensive clothes and kept squirming. When they were finally done, the servant added, "And Sesshoumaru-sama says you are to eat with him and his father today. You had better hurry if you don't want to be late."

Rin nodded uncertainly, going out of her room and making her way through the palace. She stopped outside the dining hall, extremely nervous about being seen wearing the clothes of Inu no Taisho's former mate _by_ him. The servants had all gawked at her when she passed them, and she heard them whispered several comments among themselves about her new obi – which was of course tied at the back. Taking a deep breath, she stepped into the hall.

The western lord turned to look at her when she entered. Seeing her clothes, he gave her a comforting smile before glancing at his eldest son. Izayoi looked shocked and confused – but not necessarily displeased. Inuyasha was lost in thought and didn't seem to notice her _presence_, never mind her clothes.

Rin sat in the space next to Sesshoumaru, nervously glancing at the waiting servants. He didn't say anything to her, but he didn't exactly ignore her either.

The meal was the longest in her life, and she was more than relieved when it was over. Quickly leaving the dining hall she went to her room only to find that it was locked. A passing servant, Asagi, spoke to her.

"Rin-sama, you have now new chambers. I will show you to them; please follow me." Asagi bowed respectfully, as if she was someone important.

_Rin… sama? What is happening?_

Her new sleeping room was half the size of Sesshoumaru's and painted white, with a connecting wash room that was almost as big as the main chamber. A bookshelf covered an entire wall, more than rivaling her old one, and there was even a small balcony overlooking the gardens, although from a different position to the one in Sesshoumaru's room.

"Sesshoumaru-sama requests that you wait here for him, as he would like to speak with you, Rin-sama," Asagi bowed and left her alone.

_Sesshoumaru-sama… requests? But he doesn't have to do that_.

Confused beyond all reason, Rin went out onto her new balcony and waited.

#~#~#

It was a quiet night when the slave dealer Iwao shut up shop and went to sleep, drunk with the day's earnings.

Too quiet.

Inside, a daiyoukai was holding her cute nose as she stumbled over the sleeping girls.

"Ugh, Ayane-Obaa-chan, please hurry," Misei begged the air.

"Be patient, Misei-sama, yes do," Ayane chuckled as she entered the room with three girls sleep-walking behind her.

"Please tell me there is no more."

"But there is, yes there is. If you truly want revenge on the girl you must stand the smell a little longer, yes you must."

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

tsukue – low writing desk

ai shiteru – I love you

cha – tea

sumimasen – excuse me; also used (as in this case) as an apology

Obaa-chan – while this means "grandma" it is also used to address any old female and is more polite and endearing than "babaa" (old hag)

I meant to finish this part differently, but I didn't want to drag it on much longer so there'll be an extra chapter than I originally intended. Please review, and I'll update as soon as I can! Ja!


	10. Paradise Lost

You know what? Listening to Yiruma really helps the writer's block! Try it if you are plagued with this mysterious illness! I recommend _What Beautiful Stars_ and _Time Forgets_. What's that you say? Who is Yiruma? What? Where have you _been_ this century? He's a Korean pianist and composer – the man's a genius! LISTEN TO HIM TODAY!!!

Anyway, here's the chapter. It's slightly longer than usual, but I was waiting for the perfect place to end (evil laugh – I am so not hyper at all).

**Weeeecurtain**: Rin is 14/15 at this point. Let's just say fifteen. Just remember that in the warring states era it was extremely common for girls to get married at 14.

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

Rin waited in her new sleeping room for half an hour mulling over what had happened that day and trying to make sense of anything, before a knock sounded on the door. She got up to answer it, the heavy and unfamiliar silks of her new clothes rustling.

Sliding the _shoji_ open she saw Sesshoumaru standing outside. He neither moved nor spoke, silently asking permission to enter.

_He… doesn't need to ask. He doesn't have to knock, either. He's never knocked before. He's my master, not my equal. Why is he acting like this?_

She stepped away from the door and he entered, not closing it behind him. He walked out onto her balcony, and she followed.

"Rin."

She looked up when he spoke, and saw some scrolls in his hand.

"These papers contain everything that is known about you; your background, any conditions you have, and past and current owners."

She was feeling uncomfortable with the intensity of his gaze, and looked away.

"Without these, you could leave the western castle and legally I would not be able to stop you."

At a sizzling noise she looked up and saw his hand glowing green, melting the scrolls and burning them to ashes. The wind caught the dust and blew it away.

A sudden panic jolted through her. "Are you sending me away?"

He looked at her through expressionless eyes. "Iie."

Relief flooded through her, and suddenly she felt foolish. Of course he wasn't! He gave her a new room, his mother's clothes and made her eat with him instead of wait on him. But then… what did this mean? What were his intentions?

"Rin, I – " He hesitated. "With those documents destroyed, technically you aren't a slave anymore. I am going to give you a choice. You may stay here in the western palace, if you wish, or you may leave and do whatever you want. It is for you to decide."

He swallowed. He didn't know what he was so nervous about; had she not said she loved him? The way she said it… it didn't _seem_ like she was merely trying to get into his good books. And she wasn't the type who would try to do that sort of thing. But still… a flicker of fear was there that perhaps she didn't want to stay in the castle. The pain gripping at his insides returned, sharper than ever.

Rin stood gaping at him, as if unsure of what was happening. After a full two minutes of silence, she spoke. "What does Sesshoumaru-sama want?" she asked.

Sesshoumaru was surprised at that response. "It is not for me to decide for you; I am no longer your master."

"Hai, demo…" she smiled brightly. "I still want to please you, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Then…" he leaned closer to her. "I would… very much… like it if you… stayed. Rin…"

She smiled up at him, waiting for him to finish.

"Will you… be my mate?"

#~#~#

Seven young girls lined up, all staring straight ahead with dead, emotionless eyes. Misei looked them over with distaste.

"Which do you think would be best, Ayane-Obaa-chan?"

"Mmm…" the blind mononoke walked along the line, waving a hand in front of the girls' heads. When she reached the end five of them collapsed, breathing normally. "These two have the most beautiful souls, yes they do." Using both hands to compare them she considered carefully. Eventually gesturing to the older one, she said, "This one has more love in her heart, yes she does. I will enjoy devouring her soul, yes I will."

The rejected girl, Kagome, also fell to the ground with the other five.

"Are you sure it's such a good idea to only send one?" Misei asked.

"Only one is needed, yes that's true. The others will be kept for later, yes they will. The longer they have had their soul removed, the less control I have of them, yes I do. Besides, the less there are, the less noise will be made and so there is less chance of Sesshoumaru wakening, yes. Although, even if he wakes he will be able to do nothing, yes, that's true," Ayane said slyly.

"What do you mean by that?" Misei asked.

"I mean nothing, Misei-sama, yes I do."

#~#~#

"So you decided," Touga commented as he entered his eldest son's study.

"Yes," Sesshoumaru replied stoically. "Rin agreed to be my mate. Are you disappointed?"

"Perhaps in your leadership skills. But as your father, of course I'm glad you will be happy." The older daiyoukai grinned while dropping a pile of scrolls on the _tsukue_ and leaving the room.

Sesshoumaru held the _fude_ still over the page.

_I still don't know what to do about the lands. When people attack, if I die then so does she. I cannot let that happen_.

He stood up and went over to the window, staring out at the extensive gardens.

_I could keep her a secret… the servants have an oath not to gossip outside the castle walls._

_No, I couldn't do that. When I leave the palace I would want to take her with me, and then we would be seen. I wouldn't take her as my slave; I couldn't ask her to pretend something like that and I _won't_ act like I'm ashamed of her._

Hearing a sound at the door he turned and saw Rin hesitantly enter the study, her clothes rustling loudly. A smile tugged at his lips and he extended his arm to her, inviting her to stand with him. She beamed at him and willingly rushed to his side. She stood close to him and rested her head against his shoulder as his arm encircled her slim waist. Her scent calmed the now-searing pain that was tearing at him.

_I wonder if my mother would help. I suppose I should tell her of my decision anyway, and hope she takes it well. There is nothing she can do if she doesn't like it, anyway; Chichi-ue is still stronger than her, even if she doesn't fear him_.

After half an hour he still couldn't think of anything else that might be the slightest bit helpful. Rin was soothingly stroking his hand with her thumb, but the pain was next to unbearable now.

_Curse my position as the prince of the western lands!_

The thought struck a chord in him.

_Whose idea was it for me to be the next lord of the west, anyway? I –_

The pain receded slightly.

_I don't _want_ to rule!_

The realization made him feel so much more light-hearted – as if he had just dropped a heavy stone he had been carrying all his life.

_That's right; I always assumed I would because I have been brought up with the knowledge that I _would_ be the next lord of the west. I thought it was a position dedicated to the strongest, the most powerful. I always wanted to be strong, to walk the path of supreme conquest, but… though I accepted my role as a future leader I never really _desired_ it!_

The pain was almost gone now; everything seemed so clear and simple.

_I can leave; I can take Rin to a safe place where enemies won't easily find us. We can travel for a while, and then stop in our _new_ home for a rest. It will be perfect. And I won't be distracted by all my work; for _once_ my time will be my own. I can spend more time with her. Chichi-ue will be displeased that I am renouncing my inheritance, but he'll understand. He has to. This is important to me_.

"Rin," he said in a low voice. She looked up at him questioningly. "How would you like to leave the western palace with me? To live in a smaller house?"

Rin smiled. "If that's what you want, then I want it. I'll follow you anywhere." Once she had said that she blushed and looked away, not entirely used to being able to speak completely freely around him.

"Do you want a human marriage?"

His question took her by surprise. "Wouldn't that be awkward for you?" she couldn't help but ask.

"That doesn't matter. If you want it, just say so and we'll have one."

She considered. "I… don't think so," she said cautiously. "Humans have never acted kindly towards me, and I know they would be worse if they saw me marry a youkai."

"That's fine. I have some work to finish for the western lands; once that is done I will make you my mate and we will leave. I would do it sooner, but I don't want anything to distract me from you."

Rin smiled up at him and stood closer to him, almost unable to believe he really wanted her.

#~#~#

"Yamete."

Misei and the seven girls stopped walking obediently, and the inuyoukai looked inquisitively at the hunched old woman.

"What is it, Ayane-Obaa-chan? Are you trying to be a seer again? That didn't work very well last time, please remember."

"I cannot deny my visions, Misei-sama, yes that's true," Ayane replied. "As for last time, I simply wasn't meant to make a living as a seer, yes. I am certain of this, yes I am. The human Rin will be in a different room from before, yes she will."

"A different room? Is Sesshoumaru changing her status?"

"Her new room is much grander, yes it is. I suspect he has freed her, yes he has."

Horrified, Misei asked, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that he is either being extremely generous to his human slave, or he plans to make her his mate, yes he does."

#~#~#

"Sesshoumaru, are you going on a journey?"

Sesshoumaru looked to the balcony door, where his father stood.

"Iie. I am…" he turned to face his father completely. "I am leaving the western lands, Chichi-ue. I do not plan on returning."

The lord of the western lands looked more than shocked. "Then… the title?"

"I do not wish to keep it." Turning to look at the gardens again, he said, "I realized that during my whole life I had been told I would one day take your place as lord of the west. I never stopped to consider what _I _wanted for myself. I want to be strong, Chichi-ue. But to be a leader… having to care for so much and so many people is not the kind of person I am. I was not meant to rule, and although I accepted my position as your heir it was never what I truly wanted."

"But what about the lands?"

"They would have fallen out of our bloodline in any case, with only hanyou to care for them."

"And you're just going to let that happen?"

"I was letting it happen when I decided to take Rin as my mate," he said, a hint of aggression entering his tone. "But Chichi-ue, I think the lands should be ruled by someone who actually wishes to rule, rather than someone who had it forced upon them. Rin and I will leave."

"You would be a _good_ leader, Sesshoumaru."

He paused and looked down. "My desire is _strength_, not a kingdom."

Touga exhaled, seeing his son's tenacious expression. "Alright, I can see you have made up your mind. I won't try to stop you, as I know you must make your own decisions. But I wish…"

He trailed off, and didn't finish. Eventually he took a step forward, clapped Sesshoumaru on the shoulder, and left him alone.

#~#~#

Misei groaned for the sixtieth time on their walk to the western castle. "Ayane-Obaa-chan, those girls _stink!_" she complained.

"I know, yes I do, Misei-sama."

"What does it matter if our soldiers are killed anyway? _We_ were going to kill them in the end."

"We must succeed in this first attempt or a second will be impossible, yes it will. Humans are sentimental creatures, yes they are. The human Rin will not want her friends to die and she will plead with Sesshoumaru to spare them, yes she will. If we are fortunate he will heed her, yes he will."

"What if she truly is mute as she claims?" Misei asked.

"She can speak, yes she can," Ayane said confidently.

"You're absolutely sure?"

"I saw it in a vision, yes I did."

The inuyoukai groaned again, hoping with everything in her that her old friend's abilities as a seer were not unfounded.

#~#~#

A week later a strange old woman wandered into the western palace grounds, requesting shelter for a single night. She was short – half Touga's height – and hunched over, wearing a brown and dirty cloak over her clothes and hiding her face. She said it was because she was blind, and didn't like people being able to see her eyes. Touga permitted her to stay for one night.

"Who is that?" Sesshoumaru asked, approaching his father after the old woman was shuffling off to her borrowed room.

"Just someone wanting shelter. Why?"

The younger youkai narrowed his eyes. "She smells like a _reikon touzoku_."

"True," his father agreed. "Well, she has no aggression in her scent."

Leaving, Sesshoumaru tried to have Rin in his sight as much as possible that day, although he knew it was just his protective instinct – and maybe a little paranoia. In any case, nothing happened to threaten her.

That night, Rin awoke to the pounding of feet. Groaning sleepily, she told herself that it was nothing and to go back to sleep.

Her _shoji_ was thrown open and she felt someone shake her shoulders desperately.

"Rin-sama," Rika's voice reached her. She opened her eyes, hearing the anxiety. "You must come quickly to Sesshoumaru-sama's chamber. He's been badly hurt, and he asked for you."

Rin sat up, quickly wiping crust from her eyes, and threw the covers off her, running for the door.

"Rin-sama!"

She turned back to Rika and saw her holding a bucket of water and several pieces of cloth. She grasped them and smiled her thanks before turning and sprinting to Sesshoumaru's room.

He was lying on his futon, breathing heavily, with three servants standing worriedly around him. One of them tried to do something to help, but he snapped at her and she shrank away from him. He looked up when Rin entered and ordered all the servants to leave.

"Demo, Sesshoumaru-sama – " one protested.

"Leave!" he all but shouted.

Rin fell on her knees at his side and gasped at the amount of blood that was creating a pool around him. Sesshoumaru looked up at her and raised a bloody hand to caress her cheek.

"I'm sorry. You were asleep," he said.

She grasped his hand and kissed it. "It's fine."

"I just don't like people so close to me in such a vulnerable state. But I trust you."

His words warmed her inside, and she beamed down at him in the dim light of the flaming torches on the walls. She got to her feet.

"Where are you going?" he asked – or rather, demanded.

"Just to close the door; the servants left it open."

"Leave it."

She frowned, but obediently sat down next to him again. "Why?"

"Rin, you're not my slave anymore. Until we are mates it is inappropriate for us to be alone in each other's rooms. That is why the door must be open."

"Oh, I see." Rin reached for one of the rags Rika had given her and soaked it in the bucket of water. She rang it out and gently touched it to Sesshoumaru's bare chest. The main injury was from his stomach to his chin, passing over his heart, and it was fairly deep. He had already lost a lot of blood from that wound in particular, and there were other minor cuts alone his arms. He grimaced every time she touched him, and she felt awful for it.

"Don't cry," he said after a while. "I don't like to see you crying."

She looked at his face, surprised. "I – I'm not…" her voice wobbled, and he reached up to her face to brush away silent tears that she hadn't even noticed.

"I'm so sorry. I just – you're hurt so badly," she sniffed quickly, turning her head away slightly and wiping her cheek with her sleeve before continuing cleaning his wound and wrapping bandages around it.

"How did this happen?" she finally asked when she was cleaning his arms.

Sesshoumaru tensed suddenly, a spasm of pain hitting him especially hard.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" she panicked.

"I'm – fine," he struggled to speak. "I was – fighting with – Inuyasha." He didn't say the cause for the fight – he didn't say that Inuyasha called him a hypocritical, self-pleasing bastard because he was mating a human after all he had said about them and hanyou. "He has – been in a foul mood since – he sent all his slaves away."

"_All_ of them?"

"He no longer wants Rei and – until he chooses – between the other two – he doesn't – want them – near him."

"Sesshoumaru-sama," she lowered her face and pressed a kiss to his stiff temple. It seemed to relax him slightly, and she resumed wiping blood off his arms.

"I'm finished," she said eventually. Setting the water bucket and what remained of the cloth aside, she lay down beside him, holding his hand and being careful of his injuries. "Will you be alright?" she stroked his forehead softly.

"I – "

His voice was laced with pain, and he seemed to be having trouble breathing.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin sat up anxiously. "Are your wounds that sore?"

He shook his head jerkily, not the smooth action she was used to seeing. "It's not – "

"I think I should go get the physician." She bit her lip.

"Dameda," he gripped her hand. "I'll be fine in a few hours."

She gently brushed his bangs away from his face. "Do you want me to leave?"

"Iie," he replied in a calmer voice. "Stay with me. I like your scent; it's very soothing."

Smiling, Rin lay down next to him again. Sesshoumaru's breathing steadied over time, and eventually it slowed down to show he was asleep. Rin, too, dozed into a half-decent slumber, cuddled against him, and only fully woke when she heard slow footsteps enter the room a few hours later. Sleepily opening her eyes she expected to see a servant, and was shocked at the shadowy figure looming over her.

"Kikyou-nee-sama!" she exclaimed. In the dim light she could just about see the dead, emotionless expression in the older girl's eyes, and the sluggish, limp way she moved.

Her exclamation woke Sesshoumaru. His better eyesight saw the dagger in the slave's hand, and he leapt to stop her as she approached Rin. With one hand he grasped her wrist, and the other glowed bright green.

"Dame!" Rin cried. "Onegaishimasu, Sesshoumaru-sama, dame!"

He hesitated and glanced at his future mate.

"She's my friend," Rin pleaded.

"Her soul is gone," he stated. "She cannot be saved."

"Iie…" her eyes filled with tears. A thought struck her. "If she has no soul, then how is she still moving?"

"Someone is controlling her." His eyes narrowed; there was a barrier surrounding the palace that blocked this kind of control from coming in from the outside world. "Someone within the castle walls."

_That reikon touzoku… it must be her_.

He threw Kikyou across the room, and the knife flew out of her hand. "Rin, come with me."

Rin got up and hurried across to her friend.

"Rin!"

"She's hurt, Sesshoumaru-sama!"

"In this state she is trying to kill you! You aren't safe left alone; come with me."

Giving in, she took his outstretched hand and allowed him to drag her through the castle to one of the poorer guest chambers. He flung the door open and light blasted out of it in energy waves. He could barely see the old woman standing with her back to them, still wearing the cloak – but, for some reason, it had turned from dull grey into a bright yellow. A small part of him registered six girls sitting motionless along the wall with their heads down.

_Rin_...

Feeling her hand go limp, he looked up at her. Her eyes were dead as she slowly made her way forward, towards the soul stealer.

"Rin!" He tried to pull her back, but she wouldn't respond to him. "Rin, don't look at her; don't be drawn in!" _Kuso! I should have told her to stay away from the door! Humans can't withstand the power of a reikon touzoku! _"_Rin!_"

"Sesshoumaru-sama, too bad," the woman said, turning around. Her voice was no longer the feeble sound she had used earlier, but strong and demanding. She threw her hood down and straightened her hunched back. Her eyes were white and empty, with no light in them. While they were directed straight at him, they glowed red. "It is too late for her; she is mine."

_Henshin… she's showing her true form… I have to save Rin!_

Wrapping his arms around Rin's shoulder, he felt the wind of the woman's transformation. It buffeted around him viciously, and he felt the inner spasms of pain returning with greater force; so much so that they became unbearable. The soul stealer exploded with light, and suddenly she no longer looked like a _babaa_, but a young woman. She was tall, perhaps an inch shorter than him at most, and wore glowing white robes that wrapped around her shoulder and hung down around her. Her hair was blonde and swept behind her, captured with ornate pins on her head, but two strands fell down on either side of her neck. Her face was pale and hard, and there was a jewel on her forehead, held there by a string. [A/N: if you have seen _Full Moon wo sagashite_ (don't own), then picture her as the nameless woman in the last episode that Takuto and Mereko meet on the beach]

"_You lose!_" she raised a powerful hand, and the light energy hit him hard. The pain increased, and his surroundings became bleached the color of the light. Rin tried to pull her way out of his arms, and she started to vanish.

_Rin! I will…_ he gripped her tighter, ignoring the agonizing pains inside him, and refused to let go. _I will absolutely not let you die!_

All solid matter around him vanished as he was sucked into the alternate dimension with her. There was no sound, no darkness anywhere. The pain had suddenly vanished. All he could see was white, and Rin – who had collapsed and hung limply in his arms. He set her down gently, brushing her hair out of her face.

_Rin_…

He heard footsteps and spun around to see the woman approach them.

"No closer," he threatened.

"What can you do?" she taunted. "You are all but dead. That is why you feel no pain. This world… this reality – it is not for the living."

"What do you want with Rin?"

"Her soul. I am a _reikon touzoku_, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Why her and no one else?"

The woman met his glare evenly. "Misei-sama asked for a favor; that girl's head." Her gaze softened slightly, and she looked confused. "But you – knowing what would happen to you – protected her, even though you were already injured, only resulting in both your lives. Why is that?"

Sesshoumaru looked at the ground. "If I could not save her from you… the least I could do was die trying."

"Is that so," she stated. She walked up to him and around him, kneeling down and holding her hand over Rin's body. A white glowing light rose from her chest.

"_No!_" Sesshoumaru knocked her hand away, and Rin's soul returned to her body.

The woman threw him away with one sweep of her hand, returning to her prey. He ran at her again.

"In my world you cannot win, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"That may be so, but I will die before I let you take Rin's soul from her."

"Really?" she asked, intrigued. "How far will you go to save her?"

"As far as it takes," he replied.

"You would give me your soul for the promise that she walks free?"

"Yes," he said without hesitation. "If she was safe, I would give you whatever you wished for."

"Truly…" she pondered. Raising her hand, she placed it on his chest. He felt a searing pain jolt through him as his life was sucked toward her. Then it stopped. She removed her hand, laughing mirthlessly.

"Youkai souls do not please me," she said.

Anger filled him. "Then you won't let Rin go?"

"On the contrary," she said dryly. "I will. Her soul is deliciously pure, but since you are so prepared to save her, without a second thought to your own safety, devouring it is impossible. A shame, but nothing can be done."

With a wave of her hand, Rin's body darkened and she vanished.

"She's in the world of the living again. She will be fine."

Sesshoumaru was at a loss for what to do now.

"When I first came here… you explained why my pain was gone," he said. "How did you know it was there?"

"I caused it," she said. "I have the abilities of a seer – to a certain extent. A year ago I saw a conflict with you and decided to curse your soul. For a while now it has been very loose inside you; it could have come out by itself if you were troubled enough. That is why you were so pained when you were stressed or confused – but that part took a long time to set in. It is the reason your father thought you were sick, and your mother was close to guessing the real cause."

"Then – "

"Enough," she held up a hand. "You cannot linger here for long; the generousness of your past action has given you a choice. You may decide your own fate. You may die, or you may live – with a blank memory."

Sesshoumaru caught his breath. "If I die… Rin will be sad for the rest of her life. But to live with no knowledge of her… I may never see her again. That would be just the same as dying. But… if I do see her…" he lowered his gaze again. "Without knowing who she is, I might hurt her. I might even kill her. I – I would rather die than harm her."

"You harmed her before," the soul stealer pointed out.

"_Before_ she meant so much to me," he argued. "I couldn't ever do that to her again. If it means… if it means Rin will be safe…" he closed his eyes and hung his head. "I choose… to die."

The woman threw her head back and laughed loudly. "You truly are strange, Sesshoumaru-sama," she said, her voice laced with amusement. "I cannot understand you. You do not consider what _you_ want; you think only of that human. She truly means more to you than your own life. In such cases as this…"

Sesshoumaru looked up.

"You may live… but your memories come with a price."

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

Ooooh…. cliffhanger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please review, the next chapter is the last!

**fude** – a brush used for writing

**yamete** – stop

**reikon touzoku** – soul stealer, loosely translated

**dame(da)** – "no", used to say something like "don't do that"

**henshin** – transformation; literally "change"

**babaa** – old hag; a ruder way of saying "Obaa-chan"


	11. Itsumo

Last chapter! (sobz). That's surprising, actually. I've never finished a long story before. So this is the result of my summer. Seriously, how sad. Oh well. I had fun writing it, and I hope you enjoyed reading it!

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

Rin sat beside the village market fixing her sandal carefully. She was afraid it was going to break soon, and she would have to continue barefoot.

It had been five months since she left the western palace… five months since she had been with Sesshoumaru… and she still missed him more than anything.

"Excuse me, Ojou-san," a man's voice said to her. "Are you having a problem?"

She looked up at the man. He was about 20 and dressed as if he was the headman's son – or possibly the headman himself.

"It's nothing," she smiled slightly. "I'm just having trouble with my sandal strap."

"May I?"

Hesitating slightly, she thanked him and took her sandal off to hand to him. He tilted his head, grunted, and untied a piece of string from around his wrist. He worked for a minute before handing it back to her, fixed, with a smile.

#~#~#

_Rin caught one glance of the strange woman's yellow cloak and her brain just seemed to die. The next thing she knew it was apparently several hours later and the sun was setting. She was in her room again, and the only one present was Izayoi wearing a worried look._

Sesshoumaru-sama wa?

"_How are you feeling?" Izayoi asked, smiling kindly. "You had us all worried."_

"_What – happened?"_

"_So you _can_ talk." She seemed unsurprised. "There was a reikon touzoku that attacked you, and you vanished with Sesshoumaru-sama leaving no trace. I suppose he must have saved you…"_

_Fear gripped her. "He didn't return?" she asked anxiously._

"_Iie, he did. But he… he didn't stay. He left the western palace immediately."_

#~#~#

"Arigatou," Rin said. "I'm afraid I don't have much money left – "

The man held up his hand. "No charge for pretty girls," he smiled again. "Anything else you need help with? I've never seen you in this village before; perhaps you're looking for somewhere to stay?"

She shook her head. "Iie, I'm just passing through."

"Oh," his face fell slightly. "Can't you be persuaded to stay? This is a very good village to live in."

She smiled at him again. "I'm afraid not. I'm looking for someone."

"Alone?" he looked shocked.

"Hai."

"Perhaps you would like an escort?" he asked hopefully.

"Iie, domo. I will be fine by myself."

"At least let me do something for you. Come to my house for dinner; it will save you buying a meal."

"Well…" she hesitated.

"I insist. You did say you had little money left."

Rin bit her lip. It was true the money Inu no Taisho-sama had given her was nearly gone, but she wasn't sure she could entirely trust this stranger. But if she didn't end her journey soon she didn't know what she would do. Back to stealing, she supposed. "Alright," she gave in. It would probably be best to save what she could.

#~#~#

"_Sesshoumaru, what happened to you?" Touga asked, staring at amazement at his son's injury. _That_ would not be healing. Blood poured freely to the ground, making a conspicuous trail. _

_Sesshoumaru avoided answering. "Rin is in the reikon touzoku's chamber. Make sure she's all right, Chichi-ue. Tell her I lost my memories. Tell her I have forgotten her." He continued walking through the corridor._

"_What are you doing?"_

"_I'm leaving without her. Don't follow me or try to find me. I'll come back when I need to."_

_With that… he disappeared_.

#~#~#

"So you're passing through the village?" The question was asked by the man's mother during dinner.

"Hai," Rin said. "I'm looking for someone."

"Oh, describe them. Perhaps we can help."

"Well, he is tall and very beautiful. His hair is silver and very long; it reaches his knees, I think. He had a purple crescent moon on his forehead," she traced it on her own face with her finger, "And two magenta stripes on each cheek. He usually wears white silks. He's very distinguishable; if you've seen him once you'll never forget him."

"This man…" the woman said after a pause. "He's a youkai?"

"Hai," Rin nodded.

"Sou ka… What do you want with a mononoke?"

"I have to give something to him."

"Oh," the mood lightened slightly. "Well, I have little knowledge of goings-on outside the village – Keiichi, have you seen the youkai she described?"

Her son nodded slowly. Rin's heart leapt, suddenly full of hope again. "You did? Did he look well? Where is he now?"

Keiichi shrugged. "He came into the village looking for a certain monk, but he didn't stay more than a minute. He left heading toward the east. I only saw him briefly."

Rin left Keiichi's home when she had finished dinner, choosing not to sleep in a strange man's house. She traveled east, and was excited that she might finally see Sesshoumaru again.

"_Yama no naka, mori no naka,_

_Kaze no naka, yume no naka,_

_Sesshoumaru-sama doko ni iru?_

_Watashi wa hitori de machimashou_

_Sesshoumaru-sama omodori wo."_

She tried to always make the most of the daylight hours, stopping only when necessary and bathing in natural springs at night. She preferred _onsen_ not because of the obvious reason, but because they reminded her of living in the palace. She kept traveling east and stopping in every village she came to to ask if anyone had seen Sesshoumaru.

#~#~#

"_Are you sure we can't persuade you to stay here?" Inu no Taisho asked as he walked her to the entrance of the castle._

"_Hai," Rin answered determinedly. "I'm going to find Sesshoumaru-sama. I have to."_

"_But you do not know where he is. Japan is a big place; it could take you years to find him. And even if you _do_ find him…"_

"_Hai, but I would rather spend years searching for him than sitting around doing nothing. I _have_ to find him, Inu no Taisho-sama. Even if he doesn't know me… I still have to be with him." She smiled brightly. "I'll just have to make him fall in love with me again."_

"_Well… if you insist on going… take this money. Stopping in villages every so often is safer than living in the forest for you."_

"_It's too much!" she protested._

"_It's the least I can do."_

#~#~#

"Yeah, I've seen him," one of the five fieldworkers said, straightening his back and leaning on his hoe. "Walked past the village three weeks ago; he didn't actually come in to it."

"What way did he go?" Rin asked, encouraged that she was getting closer.

"Eh… north-east," the man replied.

"Arigatou!" she made to leave.

"Won't you stop and eat with us? You don't look like you've eaten in a while, Ojou-san."

"Gomen – I have to hurry. But thank you!"

The fieldworkers all exchanged a glance and shook their heads. "Strange child; in such a rush to meet a youkai. She has her whole life ahead of her."

#~#~#

"_Give me your soul…" Ayane said to Kagome's unresponsive body._

"_No, you don't!"_

_She didn't even feel the pain as claws tore through her, and her body faded into dust._

"_She's dead?" Inuyasha asked himself._

_His father appeared behind him. "Reikon touzoku are not strong unless it is _their_ world they are fighting in. In reality, they are weak beings."_

_The six girls began to wake up and question where they were._

"_Chotto, Kikyou wa doko?" Inuyasha asked. "These girls all came from Iwao's, where she should have been."_

"_Worry about that later. We must take care of Rin; she hasn't woken up yet."_

#~#~#

Rin sat up and stretched beneath the rising sun.

_This day marks the start of another month. It's now been half a year since I left the western palace_.

A pile of berries sat beside her and she scooped them into her mouth. She had picked them last night so she didn't have to waste daylight looking for breakfast. Rising to her feet, she continued walking the direction the villagers had said.

_They told me there was a house in the woods that Sesshoumaru-sama lives in. I must be near it now… I've been looking for two days in this forest_.

The sun was bright, and it made her spirits rise. Humming slightly, she kept an eye out for the house.

"_Haha wa iwareta hito no te aru wa hagukumi no tame…"_

She stopped and caught her breath. There it was.

The house was small; barely bigger than a cottage. It looked like it had four or five rooms. It would have been picturesque, but something about it seemed… abandoned. It was dark, as if the owner was hiding from something.

_It looks so sad… if it was a bit brighter it would be a beautiful place to live_.

She walked up to the door and knocked lightly.

_I wonder if Sesshoumaru-sama is here… I want to see him so badly_.

An ache of longing filled her chest, and she pushed the door open. It creaked loudly, and she stepped inside cautiously.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?"

There was no answer. She walked a little further inside.

_This house seems dead_…

"Sesshoumaru-sama, are you there?"

A bird called out, but that was the only response. She hated to leave with nothing.

_Maybe this isn't his home. Maybe someone else lives alone in the forest. If I wait for them to return, I can ask them if they know where I can find him_.

Rin opened one of the doors in the hallway. It was apparently a sleeping room and had clearly been recently used. The white covers on the futon were not fixed, and were crumpled and had been wildly strewn about. Plain white silks lay discarded on the floor and some had been thrown in a pile under the window.

_This room… everything is white. There's no color_. Tears filled her eyes. _It's so lifeless. Whoever lives here must be very sad_.

Leaving the room she tried a different door. It was just an empty room so she tried the next one. In it was a tall figure in white, standing looking out a window beside a _tsukue_. Silver hair swayed as if in slow motion as he turned to look at her.

There was silence.

"Rin."

That voice! That wonderful, beautiful baritone that sent both chills and relief rushing through her. How she loved hearing him say her name! How she loved listening to him speak!

He spoke again. "Rin…"

_He… remembers me_… Joy flooded through her. Without a second thought she ran across the room and closed the distance between them, throwing her arms around his torso and bursting into tears.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" she sobbed. "I missed you so much!"

He returned her embrace but didn't speak again.

"When did you remember? When did it come back?"

She tried to draw away but to her astonishment he pulled her closer and buried his face in her neck.

"Sesshoumaru-sama…"

"I… never forgot… anything," his voice was soft and muffled.

She pulled out of his – lopsided? – grasp to look up at him. There was a heavy silence. His gaze was deep and… there was a strange emotion in his eyes. One she hadn't seen before. Fear? And… something else.

"I knew you would be less hurt if you thought I couldn't remember you than if I just left."

She stepped backward, unable to understand what he was saying.

He wouldn't say anything else. He seemed to hesitate… then he raised his right hand to pull at his haori and remove it. The two layers were shed, and he was bare-chested. She could see how perfectly shaped he was, how finely each muscle stood out. She could see…

She gasped and covered her mouth, taking another step backward automatically.

"You see why I left," he said quietly, his head bent as he refused to meet her gaze. His bangs hid his eyes and any clue to his thoughts.

"Sesshoumaru-sama…" She swallowed, wondering what on earth she could say. "Wakarimasen. How could such a thing make me love you any less?"

His head snapped up, and anger filled his eyes. "Don't you understand? If I made you my mate now you would practically be made my _slave_ again. You would have to help me do next to _everything!_"

Worry filled her face. "How did you manage on your own for so long?" she asked quietly, taking a step toward him.

Sesshoumaru openly stared at her. "It's been hard," he admitted softly, turning away. A moment later he nearly jumped when he felt Rin touch his shoulder. She ran her hand lightly down his left arm – what remained of it. He visibly tensed as her fingers brushed against the healed stump, and she pulled away slightly.

"Sesshoumaru-sama…"

"I didn't – I don't want to make you have a half-life of serving me," he said, looking at the floor again. "That's why I left. I… couldn't stand to let you see me in such a weakened state. I didn't want you to think… that I wouldn't be able to protect you anymore. So I had to go. Until I could find a way to replace my arm… it would be better for you to think I had forgotten."

He took a step closer to her and caressed her cheek with his hand. "I didn't think… I had no idea you would try to look for me if you thought I wouldn't know you."

"Sesshoumaru-sama…" Tears streamed down Rin's face as she took Sesshoumaru's hand in her own. "If you thought something made me forget you, wouldn't you do everything you could to make me remember again?"

He dipped his head again.

"Yes," he whispered. A moment later he gasped when he felt her lips lightly touch his. "Rin, if you stay with me then you'll have to work hard."

"I know," she said sweetly as she embraced him. "But as long as I'm with you, then I'll be happy. I love you, Sesshoumaru-sama."

She felt a drop of water land on her head and looked up in surprise. Running down Sesshoumaru's cheek was… a teartrack.

He held her tightly. "Gomenasai, Rin. I – should never have doubted you. Yurushite."

Rin smiled against him. They were together again; everything was perfect.

"No matter what happens…" she murmured contentedly, "I'll always be with you."

He ran his claws through her hair, unable to believe the lengths she had gone to just to be with him, unable to believe she was here with him again.

"Always…"

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

Ojou-san – young miss

Sesshoumaru-sama wa (colloquialism) – where is Sesshoumaru-sama?

reikon touzoku – soul stealer, loosely translated

chotto (colloquialism) – short for "chotto matte"; wait

sou ka – I see

onsen – hot springs

tsukue – low writing desk

wakarimasen – I don't understand

ai shiteru – I love you (but really, who doesn't know that???)

Haha – I bet you didn't foresee the loss of Sesshoumaru's arm!

When I came up with this idea I was like "this is _so_ Jane Eyre" (not the arm part – the meeting in a cottage). I didn't mean it to be like that; it's just how it turned out. Anyway, I like Jane Eyre. I'm even related to Charlotte Bronte – isn't that exciting?

The second song Rin sings (Haha wa iwareta etc) is from the Song of the Spirit Sending [English: Song of Parting] (Inuyasha movie four… sadly I don't own it). It means "Mother told me a human's hand was a hand that raises me", loosely translated.

Oh, yeah. About those (*cough* strange *cough*) people who are wondering about Inuyasha and what happens with him, I'll explain in the epilogue.

Please review! There will be an epilogue up in a few days so stay tuned! I would have posted this chapter ages ago, but I had major writer's block with the epilogue and I wanted it finished before posting.


	12. Epilogue

Bear in mind that Rin is **9months** **pregnant** in this. It was finished late because I had writer's block, which was caused by the fact that I was nervous about getting my hair HACKED off. It used to be just passed my shoulders. Now it is short. Yes, you read that right. _Short_, short. People say it suits me. All I know is that I look like my brother. (Which, although slightly disturbing, is infinitely better than looking like my sister – which I so do _not_.) But hey; I can wash it in two seconds. No wonder guys are always so quick when they shower.

But I digress. On with the epilogue.

#~#~#

{-`'`'-}

Three years later

{-`'`'-}

Sesshoumaru was in the garden with Natsumi when he smelt Rin's tears. His mind instantly assumed his mother, who was visiting them, had done something to upset her, but the youkai was also outside.

Going into the small house he went into the room the two of them shared. Rin looked up when she heard the _shoji_ slide open and quickly wiped her cheeks, sniffing.

"Rin, what is wrong?"

"Noth- "

"Tell me," he sat down beside her and pulled her onto his lap. "Rin, I'll help."

Sniffing again, she dissolved into tears and clutched her pregnant stomach as she cried onto her mate's shoulder. "It's just that I've been so busy, taking care of you and Natsumi, and now your mother, and soon I'll have another child and I'm just so _tired_…"

Sesshoumaru rubbed her back soothingly while waiting for her to calm down. He knew she had been feeling stressed for a while – side effects of her pregnancy – and having his mother appear definitely did not help. He had not expected her to live in such a tiny house for any length of time, and because of this he had gone to visit her with Rin when they had just become mates – on their way back from seeing his father. She had stayed for a month so far, and had said nothing about leaving.

"Would it help if we went to the western palace?" he asked. "We needn't stay much longer after the child is born, and I know you miss Kagome."

She nodded. "I do, but could we leave when your mother is still here? Wouldn't it be rude?"

"It's fine. If we put off leaving for any amount of time, the child might be born here. We should leave immediately to prevent that."

Rin sniffed and wiped her eyes again. "Alright."

Sesshoumaru moved her hair away from her neck and kissed it tenderly. She giggled, being ticklish, and he kissed her again, pulling her kimono away from her shoulder. She turned toward him and pulled his mouth up to hers, engaging him in a passionate kiss while pulling apart his haori. Without breaking the kiss he shifted them around so that she was lying on her futon with him hovering over her.

The _shoji_ opened suddenly, hitting the end of the runner with a loud _crack_.

Sesshoumaru broke his lip contact with Rin but neither of them moved from their positions. "What?" he demanded, still staring at his mate.

"Your child is crying," his mother said.

The pair reluctantly got up and fixed their clothes. Rin started to go out to door, but Sesshoumaru stopped her. "I'll take care of Natsumi," he said.

She beamed at him. "Thank you."

As he went to comfort his two-year-old daughter, he considered how strangely his life had turned out. Instead of living in a palace training to succeed his father and become the next lord of the west, he lived in a cottage in some woods that few had heard about, spending his days eliminating minor threats. Instead of choosing one of several inuyoukai suggested by his father and/or his mother to be his mate, he chose a human slave. Instead of strong, full-blooded heirs, he had nearly two hanyou children, heirs to nothing.

And yet, he thought the next day when his family of three-soon-to-be-four left the small cottage for his former home, he was not unhappy. As he saw his tired father and aging – he begrudgingly granted Izayoi the title for his father's sake – stepmother, he knew that he had no regrets of giving up his inheritance. His half-brother nodded a greeting while their mates exchanged an embrace. He almost smiled at the scene of the two "sisters" – who were such in more ways than one. Kagome had been a good companion for Rin on their rare visits to the castle, as the servants did not accept either of them to be worthy of the status of "mate" to the princes of the west. It had taken Inuyasha a while to recover after the loss of Kikyou, but eventually claimed Kagome. They both enjoyed the company of Izayoi, but often spent time alone because they were the same age.

"Oh," Rin gave a gasp of pain and clutched her stomach. Sesshoumaru was instantly at her side, anxiety evident in his eyes. "I'm alright," she assured him. "But I think – the child is coming."

And she was ushered off by Izayoi and Kagome to the birthing room. As human births dictated, Sesshoumaru waited impatiently in his own room for a particularly long labor to be over, with his father occasionally coming to reassure him that everything was going to be fine. It was the one time the young taiyoukai wished Rin was also youkai, so it would be expected for him to be with her for the birthing process.

Eventually one of the servants came to fetch him, and he was hurried to his exhausted mate and child with Natsumi skipping after him cheerfully.

"Omedetto, Sesshoumaru-sama," Kagome smiled at him before he entered the room, her own pregnancy only just beginning to show. "You have a son."

Rin was sitting up holding a gurgling bundle of cloth. She looked up at him with love in her eyes as he and Natsumi sat beside her.

"Hold him?" she asked.

Sesshoumaru hesitated. Even now he wasn't entirely comfortable holding Natsumi. When she squirmed he was always afraid he would drop her without a second arm to support her.

He felt Rin's hand on his arm and looked at her shining eyes; shining with trust in him. He slowly nodded and accepted the newborn she placed carefully in his grasp.

He was a beautiful child, Sesshoumaru observed with pride, as Natsumi was. Large amber orbs stared up at him with awe, and he saw two tiny furry ears twitch on the top of the baby's head, almost hidden in the dull silver hair. While it pained him that his child resembled Inuyasha, the brother he had hated his entire life, he was glad that both children looked very much like their mother despite only being half-human.

A smile tugged at his lips as a tiny hand reached up toward his face, five miniscule fingers grasping the air.

Yes, he truly had no regrets about how his life had turned out.

#~#~#

shoji – sliding paper doors

omedetto – congratulations

This is it! The very, absolute end! I can't believe I actually finished something so long. Wow! A _**huge**_ thank you to everyone who reviewed and put me on author alert. You guys inspired me to keep writing. I'll try and get some more longer stories on the go soon. Maybe I should continue _Tragedies of the Past_ – I haven't written anything for it in months. Oops! (Sheepish). Well, I can't get enough inspiration on it, so it's pretty much on hiatus. I'm thinking about a fantasy fanfic, so I can create my own world – like in Star Wars. Yeah, that's what I'll do. Keep a lookout for it! It's called _The CoreGirl_. Probably won't be up for ages, though.

Oh yeah. PLEASE REVIEW!


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